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All Comments on 'Below Me - NLP'

by Quivering_Quill

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  • 5 Comments
HarryHillHarryHillabout 11 years ago
Read the title as blow me before I opened the poem and saw I was wrong

then read it and found I was correct

freakyfreaky469freakyfreaky469about 11 years ago
NLP, eh?

Is that how you woo the ladies, QQ?

erectus123erectus123about 11 years ago
nice; a bit over complicated but passionate which is your strength

I might suggest try not to repeat words i.e. salacious; should mister be master?;

"Below me your mouth opens with your mind" is a nice line. constant up/ down

movement in poem is well done and grammar good

Quivering_QuillQuivering_Quillabout 11 years agoAuthor
Thanks Folks...

I appreciate you taking the time to leave a quick comment...QQ

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 11 years ago
Overblown

how many specific instances do you want?

Beautifully framed with unconditional debauchery

is just so much run on crockery

(sorry if it did not rhyme, but what are doing with it?)

abstract,abstract, preposition, abstract, abstract

somehow a bone is involved

4ed QQ

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