All Comments on 'Chaleur'

I'm not into vampires, but this is pretty good.

....poems you submit today this is not my favourite altho' I like much of it - the way you gradually reveal the vampire and you use of language.

I would change some words - eg. - "roll" to "turn" in the last line of stroph 3 and "patch" to "place" in line 5 verse 4. Small niggles I agree but roll and patch seem somehow out-of-place in your worthy poem.

Tess

Pretty good. Watch your adjectives and adverbs. Add only those that are essential; ie those that create unique images. Not bright sun (the sun is always bright) blue sun (unique).