Chronicles of loss - acceptance

The shadow of happiness, The echo of hope
That is all that remains of my life
Come work, rest or play, I’m alone for each day
And it stabs at my soul like a knife

It takes two for a love, it takes two for a life
One simply isn’t enough
Its is futile to hope, it is pointless to pray
When life keeps on calling my bluff

So, this is it, this is the end, so to speak
I’ll say what it is I should say
I’ve thrown in the towel, I’ve just given up
You can watch as I walk away.

I am through faking smiles, I am done with the game
Pretending that there’s happiness.
I’ll nod, say I’m fine, play the part that is mine,
And lose myself to the loneliness.

But you’re a nice guy, a girl will see, they all say
But they don’t! it’s undeniable fact.
I am unwanted, unloved and alone in the world
It is time that I made peace with that.

So, I’ll say sorry, my friends, for when the smile fades away
For the sadness that’s under that mask
I really did try, and I know you did too.
But pretending is to hard a task.

I am tired. So tired. My mind is a weight
Leaving bed is a mission too far.
I finally see what those sad songs really mean
Sung by the homeless and his old guitar.

They say that it’s better to have loved and lost
Than to never have loved at all
Well try it! You’ll see. It’s pain beyond measure
It’s the torture before the fall.

You’re just depressed, they all say, here, have some pills
I shrug and pop them like candy
I’m not sad anymore, I’m just numb, not quite here
robbed of the things that could reach me.

See, I have children, I love them, they’re my reason for life
They saved me, more times than they know.
But I wish I’d been taught, as I teach them now
How to be happy and cope on their own.

But what do I tell them, when they come to me
And ask me about love, about life?
Do I spin them a tale, do I tell the truth?
Which is the crueler advice?

Here, sit down son, life is hard, you will see
And it will never, not once, treat you fair.
And I’ll watch as that light fades away from his eyes
Replaced with his father’s despair.

No. I can’t do it, I won’t, It’s not right.
I will lie, as my folks did to me.
I will tell them of pride, of that warm loving glow
And then hope that they don’t follow me.

As for Dad, he is done. He’s accepted his place.
The role that yawns out through the years.
The broken soul, the lonely heart, the life without hope
But the man who has conquered his fear.

Maybe there’s dignity in accepting one’s fate.
My heart being my own to keep.
I will close my eyes each night, til my last
And wait for that long, endless sleep.