All Comments on 'Constellation'

also some wonderful phrases. I do think you could trim it down a bit and make it a tighter read. And I really feel this poem would be more powerful if you deleted the last line and ended on what's now the next to last. Great to see another poem from you though--I really enjoy reading you. :-)

Ange has some good point there in her comment. By all means, drop that last line. Also, look where you can tighten it up to increase the impact of your words. For example, the first two lines of the third strophe:<br>

<br>

Fear and scent<br>

feed the glow within you<br>

<br>

might sound better as:<br>

<br>

Fear and scent<br>

feed your glow<br>

<br>

or perhaps:<br>

<br>

Fear and scent<br>

feed the glow within<br>

<br>

Of course editing is a never ending process. It's what makes poetry such a fascinating adventure in discovery.