All Comments on 'coyote call'

by seranade

Sort by:
  • 6 Comments
My Erotic TaleMy Erotic Taleover 19 years ago
Howeelllllllllll

wow very good, loved the way it flowed

perhaps one more verse, seem to leave me hanging

but a very very good peice, bro!

those senderas (grin)

excellent poem~

sacksackover 19 years ago
I liked this.....

Good imagery, you didn't seem to be "fishing" for the rhymes which often detracts from a poem of this nature. Be careful of it's/its....otherwise effective!

foehnfoehnover 19 years ago
Good!

I've heard that ritual many times. "Sendera" - path, trail. Good, unforced rhymes, although the last stanza with all the "ng" endings jangled a bit. (I wondered if you could have found words ending in vowel sounds, like "o" or "u"...)

I think "lovers" should have been "lover's" and "it's" should have been "its." But you've written us a very good poem!

ReltneReltneover 19 years ago
*****

I agree with the other comments. You might consider changing "it's luster" to "his luster". You avoid the apostrophe problem that way, and I think humanize the coyote some more.

WickedEveWickedEveover 19 years ago
nice poem

I agree about changing it's to his.

LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

Concur with earlier comments. To fix, move the apostrophe from it's to lovers and that only significant issue is resolved. Very nice character piece.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous