All Comments on 'Day by day'

This is a good attempt at a structure, rather nice, if you had gathered all your abstractions, and worded them a little different in the 2nd stanza, I think it would have been a little more forgivable. Go back and read what Senna said. Here is my pet peeve, the cliche:

"My life is like waves crashing on the shore"

Ask yourself, how do I make this more interesting?

I gave you a five, still new writer, don't make me regret it.

You probably already guessed that I am just going to keep going at this until it starts to come good. Just keep giving me the feedback I appreciate that.

The best description of life