All Comments on 'desire'

an excellent description

in a passionate poem,

drove desire right into me,

powerful and very gripping

loved the style and flow

inspirational~

but you really should edit, a spell check would have been valuable in this one. Also, you might consider showing your reader instead of just narrating. YOu have some good ideas!

keep writing, and most importantly, keep reading. There are many excellent poets here, who are masterful at description. If you ever want, there are many folks here who would be glad to read over your poems before you submit them, ( myself included) :)