All Comments on 'Does pain matter?'

that is a bit extreme

and before breakfast

and a crescendo of rhyme at the end

a way with words, that needs to be worked on

the parts that are "wrong" are emphasized i.e. Come you NOT. so it looks like a deliberation. I like the way you think, but a little more of it.

Voted 4 if you need to know.

Hmm...I see where you're going with this but I don't think you quite get there. The use of language and change of format at the end detract, imo, from the overall piece.

Yes, I did change the format at the end. The last stanza was added later. "I would pass out of your sight " can be a weak statement of death, suicide or a strong statement of vanishing from the lover's life. "Not" was emphasized because the final action depends on it.

BTW now I think,I should have stopped with the question Do you think I would die?