All Comments on 'Finality'

back it off, this looks like a poets walk through, or jog

sultry afternoon

dancing rustle of the leaves

perfection's fire

dry ashes?

hearts that grieve

looks like creative writing 101itis

advise chose adjectives very carefully, i.e. sultry and dry add what?

p.s. leave some comments on others, good way to learn what kills

While I agree with 1201 that this could be stronger with the adjectives toned down, I like concept of this and I particularly like the way you have done the line breaks between stanzas. I would change the "there's" in the fourth stanza but that may just be a personal aversion to that contraction. You could eliminate it if it doesn't mess up the structure. Overall, very nice.

the fauna is the 1st to be aware of the shifting winds, TK U MLJ LV NV

...that such a "poor, weak" thing as this poem has been deemed to be should manage to garner an 'H' while still new. Trust the ratings -- this is good writing! They speak from the heart of the rater, and you know what they say..."out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaketh." Or in this case, the finger clicketh! :)

hasn't changed

nor my cynical outlook

good marketing of the banal to the banal crowd