All Comments on 'Fire'

It's really good, quite a story and some of the images just really grab the reader. For me though it went on way too long. Maybe if you edited it down some or broke it into a few pieces (like Part 1, Part 2 or some such), it wouldn't seem like so much. I spotted a few typos, too, but overall it's powerful poetry.

Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read and welcome to Lit's poetry world. :)

I agree with what Angeline has said here. The are some vivid images which suggest that you are writing from experience and one can feel the immediacy of the event as though you are reciting the poem at the moment that it is happening. There is some congruity between the chaos of the rhythm and the event which helps to convey the desperation on the first reading. On each successive reading, however one just becomes more aware of the untidiness of the lines which distances the reader from your feelings and the plight of the woman.<br><br>

As it is, it seems as though the event is still too overwhelming and it may take a while before you can approach the poem without your emotions overwhelming your intellect. I have a poem that is still difficult to edit ten years after a terrible experience, so don't think that it is uncommon for it to take a while before one is able to write with artistry about something that stirs deep and powerful emotions.