All Comments on 'Flog Me to Death'

Poets, this poem has possiblities. Yes it is raw, and has a few cliches here and there, but you can tweak it easily. At risk of possibly offending the author, and new poet to our proverbial ranks, I'd love to see what you would do with it. There is so much potential in this little grouping of words that I can't help but put you all to task. If it were me, I would use lots of her meter and perspective, work on the physical structure, remove a few cliches and add a bit of meter for some better fluidity. All that being said, I feel there is some pretty good imagery in here. Post your leetle poem squeakings in the "so the new poems thread won't get cluttered" thread. Can't wait to see what you come up with. Get to work, ya lazy bastards.