All Comments on 'Foretelling'

She loves me not ..........5-ed [ but we love thee !!}

a poignancy to this, and a wistful hope...

enjoyed reading it, and didn't even notice the form on first reading as i was seeing the visuals and feeling the tones.

question the use of the semis but not the line breaks - they create the stop-start plucking/dropping action of the petals being pulled then allowed to fall where they will.

I'm dense this morning. I didn't catch the "loves me/loves me not" until reading ash's comment, which then made me smile; the delightful ending says so much.

I agree with butters about the semi-colons, particulary in lines 2 & 3. I would also delete "are" in line 3.

The way you twisted the cliche around into prophetic foretelling, agree with gm regarding the word are, don't know if you needed it for the form?

The 'are' is there pretty much just to keep the syllable count correct. The use of semicolons was something I was taught ages ago (and may need to be unlearned). When you want a lengthier pause then a comma but don't want the full end-stop that a period would signify, use a semicolon. If you don't use punctuation at all, you default to dropping to the next line, and sometimes enjambment is not the goal. (Of course, there are times when letting the punctuation off makes the reader have to decide on what flow they want to follow.)