All Comments on 'Greed of the Hollow'

it goes in all the right places

that is a sword that cuts both ways

all the right places are cliches

I fived anyway

as for your band, try writing some dread country music lyrics, which would be a hoot in metal

Doesn't say much that hasn't been said before and shouldn't ' been tread upon and thrown out the door' be 'trod upon' etc?

Like your other lyric, this crit is meant to get you to view your song through the eyes of listeners who wants more than just the music.

The focus of it is too fractured to follow what is going on.

Starts with 'I'

Turns to 'you'

Detours to 'they'

Morphs into 'our' and 'we'

Reverts back to 'them'

Then back to 'I and 'me'

Finishes with 'skies' as some kind of entity independent of everyone already mentioned and seeing 'everyone'.

Now ...... who is setting fire to I/me? Left for dead by who? Forced to lie by who?

2nd verse : one who is hollow with nothing in their eyes is a contradiction to the emotion of hatred and the ego necessary to be full of pride.

What did I/me believe that warrants being burned? What was it about your life that was greedy and why is it relevant?

So many unanswered questions if answered would make the lyrics stronger and thus forceful like metal music.

Also ..... I know, I know .... STFU already Magnetron ......

'I/me' is greedy per the final verse, the hollow are greedy as per the title - yet 'I/me' is addressing 'you' as the hollow in the second verse.

It is all too confusing.

Remove the doubt and confusion by establishing who all the parties involved are and what their relationship with one another is.