All Comments on 'Hyperemia'

My 'subject matter' (The Mutt) thanks you all for your comments...

Not my favorite topic, but a strong work. It flowed well, Thank you!

You scare me...but still a great poem.

Even flow across the lines like butterflies....

Bloody butterflies to be sure....

Great flow and rhymeng skillz. As perks said, this form lends itself well to your subject matter. Good one, Miss 0.

I don't use the thermometer

BT!!!

WOW, ms. O, loved the imagery in this. I just love erotic poetry. The structure lends itself perfectly to this subject matter, I'm not sure the context would have been as strong without it. It's a bound thing, I think.

"My claw upon your back leaves bloody gash" if you had removed "leaves" and put ",a" I think that line works better, and gash doesn't feel forced to rhyme and still agrees grammatically.

and I didn't buy this line "Deny me not or you will hear my hiss" felt like your rhyme was so forced, but it still works with the poem. It just stuck out for me.

Thanks for participating, I enjoyed your perspective.