by wildsweetone
I love these lines:
like the wooden boards
on an empty wine barrel
I'm adding wine barrel to my must-use list. :)
I like the way it runs like a green line across the monitor! Well done, Sweetie!
Fly
Oh, this is good, WSO. Love those ending lines. The poem flowed wonderfully!
An improvement. I still think there is not total clarity of meaning (except to the "you" that you write to. That person would understand it quite well, I think) for the reader. But it is tighter than it was, and the phrasing is crisp for the most part.