All Comments on 'Imprisoned'

by MissBonnieJo

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My Erotic TrailMy Erotic Trailabout 17 years ago
imprisoned

no one can 'drive' you crazy if you hold the keys (~_~) thanks for the read!

LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
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Very nice but the emotional level comes across as the same from beginning to end. A small suggestion — the part of the poem that's more about the pain should be as stark and bare as possible; try to see how many words you can cut; be ruthless in excising as many words as possible.

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