- Erotic Poetry
- It's Been Way Too Long
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Click herethe backs of my legs still ache
my ass muscles still sore
my pussy still throbs
from four hours of much needed
delicious pleasures
its been way too long
no wonder I hurt
but the pain so worth it
he made me feel so good
so wanted, made me into
a quivering, squirming
wanton who hungered for more
first heated kisses
feeling each other
becoming warm, oh so hot
in an instant
making me lay back as his
hand stroked my mound
then, his sweet mouth tasted
my rosy nectar, already oozing
forth in anticipation
his tongue knowing where to make
me oooh, ahhh, again, and again
taking me from behind
cuz I was such a naughty girl
feeling him rub against my lips
before pushing into me
such tightness I felt
and yes, its been way too long
since I felt complete
then on top of me he was
in and out, and in circles,
driving me crazy-wild
moaning, telling him, more
and more, I want more
more of you deep inside
of my pussy, so alone, for so long
I squeeze his cock hard
so deep, making him smile and
knowing how powerful I can be
and how I craved luscious
pleasures such as this
- COMMENTS
Esperanza_Hidalgoabout 13 years agoI can learn much from this. It is taken above the level of porn poem because of the format. Just great.
vrosej10about 13 years agoBut kind of a cliche here too. It is very hard to shine here with these kind of poems. You have to do something outstanding to stand out.
buttersover 13 years ago1201's right about the clichés, but also that this is more than the sort of stuff that it's hard to comment on at all. :)
i think what you have going for you here is a sense of timing - you're making the reader read this at the pace you want them to by way of your choice of line-breaks.
take care with your tenses, unless it was deliberate to swap back to present tense at the end - which you might well have.
the fact you're writing again is great - now, if you want to get more poetic with your writing (and that's your call) try looking again at the 'what you wanted to say' and experiment how, with fresher imagery, more sidelong glances, reaching a little more beyond the easy and over-used, at the 'how to say it'.
keep writing, and good luck with the journey!
kayteover 13 years agoThat is a marvelous poem. Definitely a 5. Thank you so much. You are so right.
