All Comments on 'Kisses'

....each kiss had more "show" and less "tell". You have to help your reader *feel* what the participants are feeling not just describe it. Let the reader do some of the work. Nice effort. :-)

But agreed, more show would increase the erotic feel.

I sincerely appreciate your feedback. I wrote this while having a phone conversation with her about it... We were both pretty pleased with it, perhaps because we felt the build up that was going on...

It's a lovely story that takes us through each moment but in the other poems of yours I've read so far I have 'felt', in this one I 'see'. Still...well done.