All Comments on 'Loving My Neighbour'

by xwriterxxx

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  • 3 Comments
twelveoonetwelveoonealmost 13 years ago
A5

It's funny, I hope it was meant to be, if it wasn't these are really bad:

Let nothing cum tween us

T'other side of my wall

The total banality of these two lines:

The clock it has stopped

The sheets they are white

has to be deliberate.

If I'm wrong, keep the score, delete the comment, and try not to do it again.

UnderYourSpellUnderYourSpellalmost 13 years ago
~

I hope it's supposed to be funny too because does anyone actually say 'To my door it's the key'? If it's not supposed to be hilarious I beg your pardon too but it gave me the giggles :)

xwriterxxxxwriterxxxalmost 13 years agoAuthor
Appreciate the critique

Probably not unfair and quite nicely put by both parties. :). Just wanted to get something up there... As the old saying goes...

Will try and do butter next time. Especially re the banal part!!! :)

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