All Comments on 'My Neighbor lady'

An unusually structured poem of lust and a busybody neighbor.

Each stanza consists of two beginning lines of no rhyme nor meter.

These lines serve to introduce a rhymed couplet which comprise the last two lines of the stanza. Perhaps a good work can be made from this poem. But in its present from it is a rough and choppy read and benefit from a rewrite.

You have some good material to work with in the poem. I don't think the ABCC rhyming pattern is particularly appealing, though.

How about writing part two of this poem, where the neighbors get together. Maybe you'd enjoy trying free verse, or if you like rhyme, perhaps, ABCB or ABAC, either rhyming the 1st and 3rd lines or the 2nd and 4th lines.

This is only a suggestion that I hope you find useful.