All Comments on 'Nothing'

by mxslicer

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2 Comments

jthserra almost 20 years ago

I feel the intense emptiness

in this poem, a feeling that I think you could heighten even more with some trimming. If you go through your lines and take out all but the most essential message I think the impact of the emotion, the nothingness will be overwhelming. You have a very good poem here, that I think, with some prodigious trimming you can work it into something really special. Good work...

jim : )

mxslicer almost 20 years agoAuthor

Thanks Jim

Taking into account you suggestions. I've rewritten this poem. I think it's an improvement.

Thanks!