- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Oceans
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I was watching my foot prints create small oceans
While walking on beach , close to the ocean
When I watched them more, it started to occur to me that,
I may drown in one of those small oceans
- COMMENTS
Moondarknessalmost 7 years agoI don't usually leave comments. I'm not at all good at them. However your thoughts caught me. I think with a little work this could be beautiful. It is already, hauntingly so, there is just a few things that might need a bit of touching up in my humble opinion. I could be off.. "While walking on beach.." It just felt like it was missing something..
As I have said I found this haunting. The concept is there. I enjoyed it. I hope you will not take my critique as anything other than a friendly thought. Thank you for sharing. I hope to see more of your work soon.
