by tungtied2u
This poem was mentioned in Wednesday's New Poems Reviews.<br>
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The second half of the poem is a bit better than the first two stanzas. The only thing I'd rethink would be "golden orbs" unless you're writing about someone tanned or a golden figure, perhaps. Um, no, I'd still think the golden orbs. Wish I had a good suggetion for an alternative.
Your description made me rethink my bias (ok, I am old fashioned) against meddling with the human body. Perhaps one little sun is ok...
har, har, Golden Orbs, Eve if you have to do Golden Orbs, it is a bright shining day with the sun, blah, blah, I think he is parrelling here - Kudos on the dreadful Golden Orbs in this case. Just my humble opinion - from a most humble non winner of the most covetous awards and the most covetous, blah, blah. You may want to rethink wondrous beauty. Bread can be wondrous, but I'm just loafing around.