One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

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Don't judge a poem by its title
192 words
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I stand there waiting
Waiting for the most awaited
As the hairs on my arms raise in excitement
I'm met with the failure of unfulfillment

I begin to see the darkness
The place where I'm at ease
Where none can pose harm
And where my mind is at calm

I try to question my actions
But the pain just drives me insane
As I realize it all leads back
To when I have terribly failed

The voices in my head are strong
But are somehow awfully correct
They find all the bad to point
But don't fail to make a valid point

I say to myself it's of to end oneday
But I'm hit with the harsh truth
The truth that is tough to take in
The truth that it isn't to end soon

But when? I ask myself
The end doesn't seem to start
And the pain doesn't start to end
I'm left only with myself to comprehend

I look down and rethink my decisions
Also the one that has brought me here
So I step down from the window ledge
Cause nows not my time to jump off the edge.

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