- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Proposal
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Click hereIf I offered you the sun,
Would it warm you?
Would you accept it?
If I offered you the moon
Would it light you?
Would you take it?
If I offered you the stars
Would they charm you?
Would you have them?
If I offered you wealth
Would it enrich you?
Would you want it?
If I offered you fame
Would it excite you?
Would you endure it?
If I offered you my heart
Would it enfold you?
Would you cherish it?
If I offered you my soul
Would it touch you?
Would you touch it?
If I offered you my love,
Would it move you,
Would you want it?
If I offered you myself
Would you want me?
Would you accept me?
- COMMENTS
LadyJeannealmost 19 years agoin the offer, yet sad in the questioning. Love freely given doesn't automatically mean it will be accapted - you speak of truth. Great work, mat. Thanks. LJ
Jennifer Cabout 19 years agoI loved it, it touched me and moved me, this is a poem i know i will come back to time after time and take comfort in. Good work
mummys dirty angelabout 19 years agoAs you read it, it gently pulls you in until the last 3 lines... and then it sucks you right in! Reading the last 3, i had to remind myself to breathe, lump in the throat moment. xxx
Bridget69about 19 years agoClearly speaks of hope and of what the person is willing to offer. Nicely done!
Anonymousabout 19 years agodeeply moving. voicing that uncertainty...heart trapped in my throat.
kudos, matski.
BlackShanglanabout 19 years agoYou made very nice use of structure here, letting the soft, pattering rhythm fall on the reader. It's almost like ... rain, a gentle, soothing sound. I liked the use of the italics in the last lines as well; a worse poet might have erred by using them too pointedly, but here the pattern and rythmn support the device perfectly. A very pleasurable read.
ABSTRUSEover 19 years agoI can't PC on poetry because I never have the words to express how they move my soul.
rikaaimover 19 years agoIs it sad that I was not moved, but instead comforted? I know not. If I knew just one person who was half as kind and enriched as you then my life may have been better in its early years. I know your words and your meanings. To say I understand is an understatement. I know. It breaks my heart to see words as these. It means that there is pain and lonliness. In the same regard, it comforts me. I know that I myself am not alone and that others have the same grinding road. When one shares themselves to others as you have, you'll find that you'll attract those that you need exactly when you need them. Don't ever change beautiful. You're friends flock to you at the time you need them most. It does help when you provide such a powerful light to draw them to you. You are brave and beautiful.
