All Comments on 'Remembering the light'

i really like it

....whose name is new to me, but one who has something to offer here, and also shows the promise of more to come. Keep posting, and I'll keep reading!

I don't hate, I don't love it. I'm trying to figure out why. I want it to do something other than sit there. There's no "WOW" in your poem. Nothing that gets so incredibly deep I'm in awe at your insight but nothing so glaringly frustrating that I hate it either. It's just there, and for me, that's almost the worst kind of poem. However, I kept reading, which means something. You have my attention. I to will read you again, just to see if you do something spectacular, because I think you have the ability, I think maybe you just haven't stepped outside your "known" in your writing yet. I know you'll understand that, because of the poem I just read. Take a chance, get ballsy.

There were weak points...two stanzas in particular, but overall this had moments of grandeur that pulled me in. Let's get those two pesky stanzas outta the way so that I can continue praising this poem.

but today

there is no fear

today there is only

east and west, there is

only north and south

and a smoldering trust

and when I center

when I stop and listen

I can feel you wherever

you are. I can feel

your bright outline

on my warming finger tips

These two stanzas don't have the punch of the rest. Actually the first two stanzas don't have much punch either, but it feels like you're slowly getting into the thick in those two. These interrupt the flow of cleverness that the rest of the poem has.

My favorite part, and the part I'll probably save to my HD is:

I forget to weigh the

science of intuition

I forget to measure the

physics of coincidence

That is brilliance. Write more and flesh out some of the roughness you're encountering.