All Comments on 'Rise'

I liked the rich images of this poem. I was kind of struggling with the rhythm of this because at first it was regular enough to seem metrical, but then you shortened the lines, stress-wise. It might lend itself to a sonnet, though. I feel like a goof rating this. What does that thing really mean anyway? Couldn't I give you a 90 degrees in the shade? This poem was definitely hot. Thanks.

BEAUTIFUL!!!

I love it, love it. But then again, it has a garden/nature theme and your form is a nice touch.

A frame of roses drowns the hanging spike

and you can see your own deep slide

all slick with salty foam, and striking deep,

this lively root drives thick and through

to press the petals open for the shaft

of bright invasion, drumming up

a voice quick-winged with lilies.

lovely passage, Paris. thoroughly enjoyed this read

xoxox

NJ

I feel lucky that I was sittng at home and not next to you becuae I could feel how you were weaving a magic spell over me, and then who knows? you could have had you evil way with me! Darn good!

Starts out looking too much like poetry, by the fourth stanza it becomes

Did a fine job in crafting this glosa. Made it into a most compelling and stylized erotic piece. Well done.