by seasparks
it would help to use a line break after each "rolling on again." :)
I like some of your lines in here! I wish I had some line breaks for my weary eyes....
we have a song, what works in a song, often does not work in a poem, and vice versa. decide what you want to do.
Rolling on again- da da dada da....
Rolling on again- da da dada da....
Rolling on again
Sounds good as a song.
"Years go by
Eons pass
And yet still another day
And always I will find myself,"
Good rule of thumb, never use "eons pass"
As I said earlier you have a good ear.
I love your work!!!!!
Rolling on to the next of your poems... ;-)