All Comments on 'See'

I think I prefer this over your 'When We Are Together'. It has a certain musicality to it, very clearly patent on the first quarter of the poem.

The rhyme and especially the meter slip up here and there (try reading it out loud and you'll see), and there are a few verses that just don't fit with the poem, as far as content goes, namely the ones about your 'dry barren heart' and 'two eyes that never wept'.

The ending is the most subtle and better accomplished part:

"I see the colors flashing

orange and pink across the sky

I see a bright electric future

in the morning for you and I."

You should try to break your poems in stanzas. Would make them easier to read and also easier to write, you'll find.

As mentioned,

stanzas would improve the read

and allow you to easier catch the places where the meter falters.

edit:

"before its even told" - should be "it's".