All Comments on 'See Ya, Mate!'

That was fun! Thank you. I'll read more of these now. Also, I liked the meter you used. It's a popular rhyming scheme in many of the songs I enjoy. Great job!

Interesting story and nicely constructed form: still needs work though. Once you succumb to rhyme it underscores problems with the rhythms and I stumbled over a number of rhythmic inconsistencies. It probably works when you perform it but then because it's your poem you can force the rhythm so what you have is a poem that works in performance but not on the page.