by SummerMorning
oh my god. I love this. I love poetry that writes like it IS. makes you experience the message, not just just sit and have it delivered. what a trip. my brain is flickering. I think I have to go lie down. but I will be back :) times like this I wish I smoked, wait, no, that was just an automated response, damn it! I am such a fool.
I agree with the previous comment. This is not just content, it is tempo, rhythm and the visual experience too. Just like thing you're writing about, in fact. :)
Always nice to see feedback! Any critical suggestions?
your Poem was mentioned on the thread
"New Poems Review"
thanks for the journey~
My Erotic Tale!
the overwhelming speed and focus, disjointed yet driven and I was suddenly there, in the flow and electric climax of the climax. Erotica on steriods... fantastic stuff.
jim : )
I may just be dull-minded at the moment, but I had difficulty finding solid ground. It never quite came to me what the hell is going on! LOL... I could venture a guess, but I hate guessing.
Still, the tempo, rhythm, and sounds were all very satisfying. That part is very well done, imo.
One stanza kind of "stuck out" as being a little too different from the others, stylistically:
"sex is a mainstream commodity available
for consumption and use by the general
audience the function of production has
superceded reproduction"
...That had an effect on me like a special bulletin from ABC News or something.
I also thought "ization" could have been iterated one or two less times.
All in all, though, a very satisfying read. Thanks.
Summer, as always, your words have my mind reeling at 7.8 KB/secs.. :)
~Honey