by DreamCloud
I wholeheartedly concur when post of anonymous, the whole of your works has been most enjoyable and I thank you as well!
Jerry aka Redsled07
I just finished reading all of your stories.
I enjoyed them very much and really appreciate the work that went into them.
Thank you!
Damn, wish you could get some empathy and comfort.
You have some beautiful, evocative lines here.
The second stanza is replete with 20/20 hindsight; I might have changed the third line as follows:
I am anything inside them
I am nothing outside
A shell of what I am, what I have done
The shame of memories forgotten
The fourth is almost painful to read, especially the first and last lines. I might have rewritten it as follows, if it were me:
Talents I let decay
Decisions never unmade
Pain invades my dreams
A life missed wastes away
(the decisions would have had to be made for 'unmade' to make sense)
And in the last stanza I think deleting the "the" in the last line would really improve the flow and lyricism of the entire stanza, and the poem.
I shall be what I will
A fool that misses nothing
Invaluable to some
Though truth eludes them
Your poem expressed similar feelings to the ones I addressed in my Bliss, A Purgatory. You might enjoy that one.
It was a very lovely read, though philosophical and sad. Which ones of us made perfect choices every time?
Dreamcloud,
I will share one word with you; it is "rebirth." Give yourself the ultimate gift, give yourself a rebirth. A second chance, a new beginning. Dreams can change, life can change, we can change. Movies end, shame is forgiven, talents redeveloped, and life once again lived. I wish you the best.
deep feelings expressed beautifully. never give up! we are never too old to dream a new dream or rediscover an old one!