All Comments on 'So Beautiful, So New'

instead of "and" you might want to try "as". And write the entire poem without thr rhymes as an exercise...you may find it is so powerful it doesn't need them!

Just to add a bit to the thoughts shared by sack;

That last line might sound "better" like this:

"As the rose of the past fades and dies."

Just a thought - take it for what it's worth.