by vrosej10
is knockout, v.
enjoyed the rest, and how certain words open out when their connotations are examined... like the shape and appearance of the pecan nut, the moisture of the marshlands... the one thing i'd personally quibble over is the punctuation - feels a little cluttered
because it is composed completely of very strong images, both visual and aural. He thinks "us" in L3 should be "we" (he thinks it is the subject of the verb "joined" in the following line), but this is a small quibble. He agrees with Angeline that the last line is superb.
This is both evocative and precise, something that I think is a hard balance to achieve in a poem. And that last line is just killer! Really love it.
I keep tellin you women and frogs are better, gal. Fans self, goes to kiss wifey's sweet >>> (omitted because she may read this).
Love this frogs or not! It's so descriptive of the area and the moment ... well done and more please :)
...that introducing frogs to an erotic poem is to make it hard for yourself. But it seems to work. Nicely done.