All Comments on 'The children'

I really like the Zen quality of this work. No wasted words, just two really strong parallel images. Welcome equinoxe

Such strong parallel images (is this a traditional form or one you've invented?). The "Once" is like an anchor for the poem--makes the transition between the two images both smooth and interesting.

Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Review thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum.

Where I may need more concrete subject than 'she' (as in your other submission today) to get me going, here I was captured right away by the simple and powerful images both qualifying and mirroring each other. A true delight!

Another small, tightly written piece with thought provoking imagery.

You have a true skill with concrete, evocative images. This piece is a good example, and is exactly as it should be.