The Fisherman's Tale

The Fisherman's Tale

Out on the briny ocean
The fisherman sets sail
Adjusting to the motion
Of the ship against the gale

His goal the silver herring
To fill his empty nets
All profits then transferring
To settle last week's bets.

The Scottish winds are whining
As they reach the Dogger Bank
But the herring are off dining
And the nets are loose and lank.

About to turn and head for shore
When there's a sudden pull
Enough for Captain Joe to roar
"The starboard net is full."

"Heave ho and bring it in me lads
"Our night is not in vain
"We'll dine on fillet steak with scads
"Of scotch to ease the pain."

But once the net is hauled aboard
The bosun's mate goes pale
A mermaid is the catch they've scored
With tits and fishy tail.

The captain has them fetch her
To his cabin in the poop
Where he thinks to have a supper
Of shad and mermaid soup.

The mermaid is a comely sort
The skipper is a charmer
He offers her a glass of port
To make her blood run warmer.

"Oh, captain brave," the mermaid sighs
"I need to beg a favor
"Remove this tail from off my thighs
"While I undo your zipper."
The captain does as bid and lo
He finds to his amazement
A pair of thighs as white as snow
That fire his manly basement.

And on her pubic mound no hair
But scales of shining glow
A sight uncommon, even rare
That make his juices flow.

Her now warm hands seek out his crotch
Bring forth his upright pistol
That's puddled Irish, Welsh and Scotch
From John o' Groats to Bristol

Though never in his forty years
Has he fucked fish or cattle
He now will set aside his fears
Preparing to do battle.

He puts the maid upon her back
And parts her legs asunder
While in her slit he places Jack
And has her feel its thunder.

The story has it so I'm told
They mated night and morning
Nor ever did their lust grow cold
And twins were soon a-borning.

No ordinary babes were those
The mermaid's set of twins
A girl with flippers on her toes
A boy with dorsal fins.

And so the story goes you see
The captain wept but hid it
He thought that he'd been fucked at sea
But never knew who did it.