All Comments on 'The Pains of Pilgrimage'

1) There really wasn't a need to impress upon the reader that this was an incestuous relationship. It had a bit of shock value as it was revealed the very end. That's about all it brought to the story.

2) The rhymes were consistently solid until becoming loose in the final lines.

3) Someone who pays fines is not typically one who passes verdicts and vice versa.

These three factors cause the ending to become out of sync wih the rest.

very good