All Comments on 'The rain'

being more a personal write, with a tendency to exclude the casual reader. i couldn't get engaged with it much, though it did exude a sense of fondness for the object of the narrator's passion. if this was written for a certain someone, i'm sure they'll be most pleased you wrote it for them.

having said that, these last lines .. now these became something of interest to me as an outsider - what you do here is allow the reader to engage with the poem:

pleasure from pain

clouds come

and

we

feel

the rain

nice write~

I think you could tighten this up with some editing maybe bring the meter more in line

thanks for the read

The first five stanzas of this poem are wonderful as are the last lines mentioned by Chip. I think maybe if you lose what is in the middle you could have something that is incredible. You really can write very well, all you need to do is edit more and try to recognise what it is that is unique in a piece of work, then focus on that.

Another sexy poem although this one was a little wordy. Not sure how to describe it but not as flowing as your other poem.