All Comments on 'The Revolution'

I like the theme, but the form is not right. Rhyming will often makes even the most serious of subjects seem almost cutesie. Revolution is not usually cute :)

Suggestion: Write out the main things you want to say about revolution. Brainstorm. Wake up in the middle of the night so nothing is inhibited by rational thought.... then read through in a few days and take out what is the most Potent...challenging, moving, Important... and fling it into free verse. And if you do try this exercize, could you please let me know? I would like to see what happens.

annaswirls