Unspoken Words

As I bite my tongue on all I say
And slowly dig my sorrow deeper
I don’t let people hear my pain out loud
But when alone I hide my head an wish for sudden death
It’s then that the words unsaid creep slowly up my throat
And choke the remaining life out of my frail an hollow body
I shake with grief and sadness
If only I could say what haunted me
But this could never happen
It’s either hurt myself or others
They wouldn’t understand anyway
They would just confuse and twist the meaning of my tears
If only someone would listen to my hurt
But this will never happen
My relief only comes with one swift slice
The crimson red drips
As I’m momentarily released from all my misery
Scars have now replaced what once was open
But still hidden deep inside is the wounds
No matter how hard I try they will never disappear
One day though
It will over power my weak attempt of concealing it
Years and years of hidden words will flood my insides
The blade will shine an look like heaven
All at once it will all come clear
The pain will terminate yet again
With more slits then before
The rag once an off-white is now a deep crimson
The once small cuts turn into deep trenches across my wrists
My lap is now covered in the dark blood
As I breathe in I feel a sense of calm
A long-over-due smile caresses my sorrow held eyes
As I joyfully slip away
I am finally released from the spell I was consumed in
Now I’m now longer struggling
I am finally at peace
The unspoken words have won
I am gone
You no longer can deny the pain I was in
I don’t have to mask my emotions to save your feelings
I am free of my unhappiness
I don’t have to watch myself decompose anymore
Its your turn to mourn the death of me
I have finished my mourning long ago
You have now noticed I am dead
Regardless if I have been eternally gone for a while or not
You never noticed the war I was in
I have finally buried the words
You will no longer be in pain
I regret the way it ended but relieved it is complete
The words have been waiting for their moment to escape
And finally never will
I will now still be the happy person you knew
Your image of me will remain untainted
You can now disguise how I felt anyway you want
But remember I did love you
You just denied the situation I was in
You tried to form me into what you considered perfect
I just couldn’t live in the bubble you placed me in
And you wouldn’t hear anything I had to say
The words caused us to drift apart
Finally I am now free to the world
No longer will you ignore my cries
No longer will you misread my agony
No longer will words erode me