by lostandfounder
I hate the line: "Love is unattainable" Tighten where the metaphor drifts with current, and this piece will kick ass!
This poem is mentioned in the New Poems thread on the bulletin board. :)
suggest moving the line instead, because of the sylable count, it does have a tendency to become the focal point.
"Love is unattainable"
perhaps closer to hell
"A boat made from two pennies worth of copper"
is this where it cam from, it's been driving me nuts.