All Comments on 'Voices and longing'

the sensuous parts were a turn on! the rest made me sad, just a little...

with my dear friend anon, except for the fact that the so-called juicy parts are a bit old (as is anon); and the rest doesn't seem to tie in. But I bet the score I left was higher.

this reads like prose to me not poetry

whatever it is, prose, poetry.

there is something sincere and moving about it...

with a few minor changes....

it has potential...

could even be in the non-erotic section, sure it has erotic parts, but that is not the central theme... which seems one of loss and seperation

with the write overall.... it doesn't do anything much for me at all (just one reader of many, though). its one redeeming feature is here:

The fat bumblebee

Smiled lazily too

As it teased the nectar

From the fragrant

Petaled rose

i like that visual of the smiley fat bumblebee, lazily toying with the rose :)

Get some review/feedback before you put these out...

could have been tighter, but there is a lot of promise there....

i think ur writing has potential