All Comments on 'what did i do'

Wonderful poem! I was doing some playing around below. I think your poem would look really nice this way. Also, in each stanza and each line, I would start out with a capital letter. Hope you don't mind. Christina

what did i do,

letting you walk out that door

my heart is broken,

my life is tore <--you could have said "torn". It's the meaning that matters most. Also, "similar sounding" words work just as well as the ones you're using. Just a thought:)

thought it wouldn't hurt,

that enough was enough

now that you're gone,

i see i wasn't that tough

couldn't deal with things,

as they kept going

got tired of the lies,

and not knowing

so with much agreement,

you were gone in a flash

now i'm starting to feel,

i shouldn't of been so rash

when you walked away,

i said i wouldn't cry

but the tears started to flow,

as we said good-bye

why did i let you go,

when in my arms i wanted you so

because my pride and revenge,

just wouldn't let me go

what has been done has been done,

and is now in the past

what should have been love,

just ended real fast

life is a ying yang...grin ...cycle ...yet walk straight

in circles...lost but then found low high

good bad rough smooth hard soft grin frown

push pull now then rights wrong then wrongs

right now no yes question answer start finish

I could fel the emotion seeping thru this poem from the first line. Your imagery is so simple and yet it sticks, and pulls ya in. I loved the flow too. Slow..steady.. taking one on a nice lil ride and holding you with captivating interest. More Please~~!!

your poems glisten~

waves howdy~

hey very good

i like the way you play

so enjoy yourself today

is what i say.

NIN.