All Comments on 'Wishing you were here'

by vixen_2006

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  • 2 Comments
LeBrozLeBrozabout 17 years ago
~~

Nice potential here. A couple points ~ watch the use of your; I'm sure you meant to use you're {you are} both times in that first stanza. A style point to consider; if you omit mention of the coffin and just set down the rose, the presence of the coffin is implied and the actions/feelings are then amplified.

AmyfriendAmyfriendabout 17 years ago
A nice...

tribute to her lost love. Well done.

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