All Comments on '10 Pound Bag Ch. 036-040'

I’ve really gotten into the story and I appreciate the time you’re putting into writing it. There is one little niggle though that I’d like to talk about. The last Installment was put into a different story category being novels. It’s hard to track a multi installment story when you don’t know where it’s going to have future versions placed. I personally don’t even look at a lot of the categories in the Literotica site so it was a pure accident I found this last version.

I'm changing the story category to Novels and Novellas, sorry about that folks I didn't realize it was going to take on quite the life that it has. But then again I never planned on Matilda either.

I'll figure out a way to get the previous chapters moved over.

-Emmeran

re: the addition of two children to the gang. When they are eating at the campfire, and our 'hero' calls to Amos, asking him to follow him, he addresses him as 'boy'.

A 21st century person, enlightened as much as our hero, would be sensitive to 'boy' being the equivalent of a racial epitath, and would not use it. If he did, he would realize what he said, and quickly correct himself. Hell, you have him apologizing for 'cursing'; he certainly wouldn't call a runaway slave, 'boy', immediately.

You had him immediately refer to Amos as son; I submit, in line with the character you've created, he would have addressed Amos as 'son', immediately.

A good twist to the plot. It creates some much needed reality for Sonya, and adds a much needed tension source for a story bordering on 'Cinderella' territory. Bordering, but not in. LOL

geoD

Sonia, as the token liberal, has an I.Q. about 50 points lower than anyone else. Reminds me of "Farnham's freehold."

Irritating, in the same way as a story with a reality challenged token conservative.