23 & WTF Pt. 02

I head outside and start cleaning the grill since apparently, I'm cooking steaks for everyone tonight. The kids will be happy, gotta love my little carnivores.

After cleaning the grill, I check supplies and yup she had Lucy, David or both over last night. I need to make a beer 'n wine run. "Hey Cat I'm gonna go to the store for beer and wine do we need anything else." I holler into the house.

"Yes, get some ice cream for the kids." Good call, give them ice cream and Netflix and they'll stay occupied all night. So, with that I head out to finish preparations for the night.

A couple of hours later and Lucy calls to say she's on her way from the store. So, a beer in hand I head out to start the grill when I see Andy. After getting the grill started, I head over to my son. He's playing 'Super Mario Bros'. I know it's an old game but when I found my old N64 back home I brought it back with me on one trip. I then hooked it up to a projector tv so it can play on the side of the house. So old game or not it's still kinda fun. We take turns and he complains. "Not fair Dad you're even older than this game so of course you'll win."

"Son let me go get you a straw."

"Why?"

"So, you can 'suck it up buttercup'." He just makes a grimace at my awesome dad joke. "Besides I kick your butt at Wii too!"

"Keep it up old man, one day you're gonna need to be put in a home. Guess who gets to pick which one?" With that he just gives me a shit-eating grin. Ah I've trained you well young Padawan.

"Dad, Mom says come get the steaks Aunt Lucy brought." Patty yelled from the house.

"Saved by the bell boy." I say laughing as I turn to leave.

Going into the house and entering the kitchen I see Lucy my little sister. That's when it really hits me. 'Holy shit that's what she is, she's my little SISTER!'

"Damn Rion are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost." Lucy snaps me outta my shock. Quick I gotta think of something.

"Ah no just stunned by the site of all the beautiful ladies," and smile.

"Oh Dad, you're such a cheeseball." Saved by my daughter, though she did smile at being included with the grown women.

"You mean to tell me you actually scored my sister tossing out cheesy lines like that?" Lucy says smirking.

"Yes, little sister indeed he did." Cat says as she walks up to kiss me deeply.

"Gross Mom, not in the kitchen, I think it's some kinda health code violation." Heh heh, kids.

"Fine little miss, then why don't you carry that tray of steaks out for your father. While you sir give me another kiss." Mmm I kinda like being a prop at the moment.

"Hey Cat if you didn't bring enough to share with the whole class then don't flaunt it!" Lucy says with a wicked laugh. I just kinda lock up hearing my little sister say that about kissing me. Cat breaks the kiss and looks back at her sister.

"Aw Lucy, now see what you've done. You got him all flustered."

Then they both start giggling. WTF! What the hell is going on. "Um ah, I gotta go get the steaks started." I turn to head for the back door, they just start laughing loader. I get out to the grill and Patty is just looking back at the laughter coming from the house shaking her head.

"I love them both dearly Dad but they seriously lose IQ points whenever they hang out together." Patty says.

"Ya know I think you might be on to something there sweetie." With a kiss on her head she walks off. I then spend the next 30 minutes or so cooking the food and drinking a beer or two.

With the steaks done, we actually have a wonderful meal. The whole time I'm rediscovering Lucy, now that I know she's my sister. Again, she has those eyes, Dads' eyes. Also, other than the traits she got from her mom, she's just a slightly smaller version of Cat. 5'9" 170lbs 38-32-40 blond slightly tanned skin. Kinda the 'surfer girl' to Cat's 'Celtic goddess'. That's when I realize I was zoned out. "What, huh?"

"I said now the kids are gone to watch a movie me and Lucy have something we want to ask you."

"Um OK what is it? Do I have to build it, buy it or move it?"

With a giggle Lucy speaks up. "None of the above, but I do need for you to hear me out before you say anything. Can you do that for me Rion?"

"Yes, Lucy I can do that." 'Yes, little sister I can do that.'

"Ok hear goes nothing. For a while now I've been seeing what you and Cat have and it's something I want. Not so much the relationship part but the parenting part. I want to start a family and I want to do IVF. But more than that I'm going to need your help."

"Of course, we'll help any way we can babysitting, taking you to doctors' appointments anything." 'Anything you need little sister.'

"Well let me finish. I can handle all that, what I really need help with is finding a good donor. Do you know what I mean?"

"What, you want us to go with you and go through the profiles of the donors?" 'Where are ya going with this sis?'

Reaching out and taking my right hand while Cat is holding my left. Lucy just looks at me with an almost pleading expression.

"Actually, Rion I want you to be the donor. I already know you make beautiful children. Hell, we even have the same eyes. What do you say? Will you help me to be a mother?" She says all this with the most loving expression on her face. I turn to look at my wife and she's smiling just the same way slightly nodding her head yes. All the while I'm screaming in my head.

'WHAT IN THE EVER LOVIN' FUCK ME SIDEWAYS HELL IS GOING ON?!' This can't be happening. My life can't be going this far off the reservation.

First, I find out I have 7 siblings. Then I find out I'm fucking married to one of them. Now another one is asking for my sperm so I can father her children. Who in the hell did I piss off in a past life to be dealing with this shit now? Oh lord I can't wait! I have to tell her tonight.

CAT

Oh no. This isn't going how I hoped it would he's just sitting there. Lucy's starting to get nervous.

"Rion hunny, it's ok she already asked me. I told her it would be fine if you wanted to. She just wants to start a family, and don't worry she wants IVF. She's not trying to get you in bed." I say in a playful voice trying to lighten the mood.

Only I think it backfired, he snapped his head right to me. Like a dear caught in headlights. God this is freaking him out. That's when Lucy gives it a try. "You don't have to answer right awa...," turning back to her he cuts her off.

"No." He says in almost a whisper. Then again, "No I can't. I'm sorry Lucy I just can't." With that he lets go of our hands, gets up and walks out the patio doors. Did I miss something? Why did he react this badly?

Just then Lucy starts crying. "I'm sorry Cat I shouldn't have done this. I need to go."

"No Lucy don't go." I say getting up and heading to her to give her a hug

"No, I need to get out of here right now!" She gets up and grabs her things and starts to head for the door. Me on her heels needing to make sure she's ok. Following her outside walking up to her car I stop her.

"Please just take a second and calm down Lucy I don't want you driving this upset." So, turning to sit on the hood of the car she looks at me.

"What did I do Cat? Did I piss him off? Did it really freak him out that bad? What?" I just hug her while she cried. Eventually crying herself out I let her go. "Thanks Cat, I did need to get it out before driving away."

"I know sweetie, and I promise you did nothing wrong. Rion's not angry with you. It probably just freaked him out too much with you being my sister and all."

"Ok Cat you're probably right, I just let myself get lost in the daydream of it all. I'm good now and tell your man no hard feelings OK." I waved to her as she pulled away.

Now to go see why Rion had such a strong reaction to all this. Heading into the house I find him sitting in the kitchen and he has his laptop with him. With the kids still watching a movie in the den I sit at the table with him. That's when he turns to me and I can see he's been crying too. What the hell is going on with him. Taking his hand in mine. "Rion love, what's really wrong? Because I know just hearing Lucy ask you that wasn't enough for all of this."

Looking down at the table he begins to speak barely above a whisper. "Tuesday night I got an email about a test kit I sent in to 23&Me. That's what got me so upset I had to go see my Dad." He paused to take a deep breath. "I did it because I knew you were interested in seeing my results. Only I didn't expect what I found out."

"Well, whatever it is it can't be as bad as all of that. What is it? What did you find out?" He didn't answer, instead he just turned the laptop around so I could see the screen. It was open to a member profile page. As I read it my stomach was starting to turn. The name on the profile said 'John Smith'. The cursor already in the right place he just hit enter and it switched to the relation matches. There we were, me and all my siblings.

I snatched my hand back from him. Bringing it up to my mouth trying to keep from being sick. That's when in a heavy voice he starts talking again. "That's why I stayed on the couch that night. Racking my brain trying to make sense of it. What did Dad and Momma do? I had to go see him and get the story straight. But when I got there and was about to ask him it hit me. Looking in his eyes, my eyes, your eyes. My Dad, Buford 'Buddy' Simms was the donor."

I jerked my head towards him at that. Saw the silent tears falling from him still looking down at the table. This can't be happening. This can't be real. This kind of thing doesn't really happen to people.

"Cat baby, please say something." He reaches for me and I flinched. Why did I do that?

Then I hear his sob. I had flinched at his touch. That's when he gets up and walks out the door to the back yard.

After about 10 minutes or so I close the laptop, and get up to go find Rion. That's when I see him. This man I love, who's strength I depend on, fallen to his knees defeated. All because I flinched. Oh God is this it! Are we done? Did finding out he's my brother end us? Or is the fact I'm still asking mean there's still a chance? Rion is this what you've been suffering through for three days.

Three days! This afternoon! He knew! I told him not to talk, but he knew! I told him let his body react, but he knew! He did react and he proved he loves me even though he knew. Only can I? Can I still love him like that now that I know?

I walk to him feeling just as broken. "I need time Rion, I'm not mad at you, but I need time." He just nods. "Come Rion let's go back inside."

"I'm gonna sleep in the shed." That being a converted shed Rion made into a 'she shed' for me. It had a daybed, heater, window air conditioning and a mini fridge.

"You don't have to Rion, come inside." He reaches up for my hand and again I flinched. Why did I flinch? He recoils like he was physically whipped and my heart breaks.

"It's ok, I'll be ok out there." His voice heavy, trying hard not to give in to the pain. So, I just watch as he picks himself up and walks off to the corner of the yard and into the shed. Once he's inside I turn to go back to the house.

I see Patty standing in the door way. She doesn't know what's happening or why but she does ask. "Mom what's wrong? Why's Dad out in the shed?" Oh lord what do tell her?

"Sweetie your Dad and I just got some bad news and it's got us all twisted up right now. He's just going to spend a night out there because he wants to be alone is all." There I didn't exactly lie to her.

Upon hearing this she immediately grips me in a tight hug. "I love you Mom." Her hug right now is just what I needed. Then it hits me, she's my niece, I'm her aunt.

NO! I'm her mother and she's my daughter! Andy is my son! God why did this have to happen.

"I love you too sweetie, so so much! Now you get ready for bed ok." I follow her into the house and then go hug my son and tell him good night as well.

'Good night' what a joke that is right now. 'My brother, I'm married to my brother. Wait! Buddy's my father!' That took a while to sink in because I was reeling from Rion being my brother. So, I've known my father for 5 years and he's moving here! This neighborhood, just 1 street over. If it wasn't so sad, I'd make a joke about all of us being Arkansas hillbillies since Buddy's our Dad.

I lay here for hours not sleeping slowly crying myself into a killer headache. So, getting up for a bottle of water and some aspirin I head to the kitchen. There's just enough light to see where I'm going so, I don't turn any on. That's when I see him through the window. Sitting outside in the wet dewy grass, back against the shack.

He's got to be feeling just as bad as me. So, after I take my pills, I grab another water bottle and the aspirin. I head outside. I notice he doesn't move. Just his eyes. Tracking my movements like a wounded animal. I set the water and the aspirin down on the steps of the shack. He still doesn't move probably for fear of me flinching away again. Why did I have to do that?

I want to tell him I love him and it'll all be ok. As long as we're together. I want to hold him so we can take away each other's pain. Though as much as I want that I can't make myself do it. That's when I just sit down on the other side of the steps in the wet grass too. Both of us just slowly crying.

RION

She's been sitting there for about half an hour now. As much as it hurts having her this close it also helps, funny huh? Figuring she's waiting for me to take the aspirin before she goes back in, I go ahead and do it. Putting the bottle back down I notice her shiver. With as steady a voice as I can muster. "I'll be ok baby, please go back inside before you make yourself sick."

"HA! That would make it perfect huh? If we got sick." She says with a humorless laugh.

Damn this is what I've been scared of, the news pushing her to close to the edge. "Don't be that way Cat. Go on inside, it doesn't do anyone any good if you get sick."

Doing her best not to cry, "Fine I'll go but only if you get up and go to sleep too. Like you said it doesn't do any good if you get sick either." So, I give in and get up to go inside.

Then as she's standing, she slips! Naturally I reach to catch her. After stopping her fall and getting her steady on her feet she realized what had happened. Like a knife to the heart for the third time she recoils from my touch. Almost falling again in the process. Not wanting to see that look in her eyes again I just bolt inside the shack and shut the door.

Three times she's pulled back from me, every time wounding me more. What did she say to me, 'your body never lies.' Now that she knows, she can't even stand for me to touch her. Oh god, are we done?

Morning comes and after a fitful attempt at sleep I get up. Realizing that I need a change of clothes I head back in the house. Luckily my bag from the trip is still sitting in the living room. So, I grab it and head back to the shack.

After I changed and brushed my teeth with what's left of the water bottle, I head inside. Wanting nothing more than the simplicity of my routine. I go about waking the kids and then making breakfast. After making their lunches I go ahead and make my own. I make Cat's coffee only this time I ask Patty to take it to her. "What's wrong Dad? Why am I taking this to Mom? Is it because of why you slept in the shack last night?"

A little stunned by what she asks I try to recover. "Sweetie we're just working out some things right now, that's all."

She just looks at me a second then shares a look with her brother. They're not stupid kids. They'll know that something's wrong before too long. But if we're done what do I tell them. Cat's the only Mom they've ever known. How could I take them from her? Oh God, what if she doesn't want them!They'd be devastated.

Lost in this new spiral, I fail to notice Cat coming into the kitchen. As she walks over to the counter, I circle around the other side of the kitchen island. I gotta keep some distance between us. I couldn't take it if she flinched away from me in front of the kids.

This is too soon, I've gotta get outta here. Grabbing my lunch, I head over to my son. "Gotta go now son, tell your sister I said bye."

Looking a little confused he replied. "Ok Dad, bye."

With that I'm out the door.

CAT

I can't blame him, leaving like that. Keeping his distance. After last night when he caught me. I pulled away from his touch again. Even though I was bound and determined not to. I still did it, and I instantly saw how much it hurt him. The one person in this world I'm supposed to love the most. Turns out to be the one I'm ripping to shreds.

Going through the paces I get the kids out to the bus stop. It being Friday I take another remote workday. It'll go much easier if I can be alone when the crying starts. That's when I hear my phone's text alert.

Lucy: Hey Cat just checking in with you. Did you and Rion get a chance to talk last night. Did he ever say why he reacted so badly?

Shit! I forgot all about that. At least now I know why he freaked out the way he did. The one sister he's married to telling him it's ok to father children with another sister. Actually, I don't think he over reacted at all now. In fact, I think he was quite calm all things considered.

Me: No, we didn't talk about that yet. Still trying to find a way to bring it up.

Lucy: Ok just don't force it. I don't want this to cause problems between you guys.

Me: Ok sweetie. Will talk later.

Lucy: K :)

Yeah, I don't know how to tell you Lucy but problems have already occurred. I can't help feeling like I did when Jim died. Denial that this is really happening. Plus, anger at something so monumental that's out of our control. I feel like I'm already grieving the death of my marriage.

I know I love him. Love him so much it hurts inside thinking of losing him. Only he's my brother!

'Here it comes,' I tell myself as a wave of emotions pull me under. Yes, being at home today is a good thing as I just curl up on the couch and cry.

To be continued