3 Crushes and a Wedding - Ch. 01

Author's note: I started this as a short story with a simple premise, but the characters took a dimension of their own and went in intriguing directions, as characters often do. To date, it's the longest Literotica story I've written, and the slowest burn of all. It would certainly fit in the Romantic category, but given the lesbian theme, I'm posting it here.

If you're not in a rush and have some time to enjoy the full journey, come along with me. Several fun and naughty stops await us along the way.

HOWEVER, as always, I like leaving something to the imagination too. If you've read some of my writing before, you know what to expect. If not, let me warn you that there won't be any sex scene in the traditional sense. 7 chapters with no sex -- I'm on a suicide mission here. But I like a challenge.

This first chapter is setting the scene. Things will go faster and get naughtier in the second one (and beyond). I'm aiming to post a new chapter every 2 weeks.

Disclaimer: Although not stated explicitly, all characters engaging in any sexual activity are above 18.

******

"Shit."

I couldn't stop the expletive from shooting out of my lips. I looked away, gulped as much air as I could, and let it all out in a blow. This couldn't be. My eyes had a mind of their own, though, and I found them fixated on her again. I tried to avert them but I couldn't. She looked radiant and, by some unexplained miracle, she hadn't changed at all.

Twenty years -- that's two entire decades -- had gone by and she, somehow, still looked the same. Did the laws of physics and biology skip her? She had the same towering height, same sun-kissed skin regardless of season, same long wavy brown hair, same tall face and black eyes, same large mouth and plump lips, and same absolutely killer body. I shivered. I couldn't believe I was seeing her in front of my eyes and not in one of those social media photos I had managed to stumble upon over the years.

Twenty years. I was eleven years old when she entered my life and turned it upside down. I couldn't comprehend my feelings back then; all I knew was I was constantly overwhelmed by a need to be near her all the time. I wanted to hear her voice, feel her eyes on me, make her smile, and enjoy her laugh. I craved the simplest contact with her -- at the time, my innocent thoughts equated that with her hand or face. She had invaded my thoughts and flooded my dreams, and not a moment passed by that I didn't yearn for her in an intense way that my young self couldn't understand or handle.

My vocabulary was quite limited at the time, and the world hadn't been as open as it was now. So I didn't know what to call my feelings, except 'love.' But I thought girls didn't love girls like that, so I was perplexed by the use of the word. It wasn't until I discovered the adjective 'platonic' that I felt more at ease with the labeling of my situation. In my naive self-conscious analysis, my infatuation with her sat somewhere between deep friendship and platonic love. Of course, now I understand I was madly attracted to her too, and I know what that tingling sensation every time I saw her was. But back then, it was all innocent in my head.

Sensing someone staring, she turned her head in my direction and caught me. I didn't have time to duck or look away, so her eyes landed straight on mine, and I felt my entire body get shaken as if by an invisible earthquake. My heart dropped into my legs but was somehow still beating hard enough it could break my ribcage. My blood pumped so fast I was afraid it was bursting veins and creating new vessels on its way.

The expression on her face shifted slowly and her brows furrowed. Had she recognized me? I tried to do something, anything, but felt numb all over. 'Smile, raise your glass, move,' a muffled voice shouted from my mind's internal abyss, but I couldn't.

My world was collapsing in front of me and I had no idea how to react. The present I was perfectly comfortable with had collided with the past that I put behind me long ago, as if I had time-travelled without moving. In that moment, I was both eleven and thirty one, both a scared and confused young girl and a smart and confident woman, both infatuated with her to no end and convinced I had moved on from her. How do you reconcile those contradictions in an instant?

She turned away slowly but remained clearly confused. I took that as a reprieve and willed my shaking hand to raise the cocktail glass to my mouth. I downed the entirety of the blue liquid in one go, slammed the glass on the bar, and asked the bartender for a whiskey. The situation merited a change of drinking tactic. Although I craved to look again in her direction, my brain was screaming at me not to. It needed a few seconds to recover.

"Oh, here you are!" The chirpy voice of my best friend Kay brought a much-needed reality anchor. I tried to greet her, but couldn't feel my tongue. "What's the matter? You seem ghastly!" I could only blink. Concern took over her face and she grabbed my hands. "Hey, what's wrong? You really look like you saw a ghost."

The absurdity of the situation caught me by surprise and I felt myself shake with a loud laugh. My anxiety had to burst out in some way. Kay snuck a cautious smile but remained perplexed.

"It's (giggle) because (giggle) I did (giggle) see a ghost (giggle)!" I squeezed out.

My eyes drifted and landed on the reason of my current hysteria and I noticed her looking at me again, bemused. My laugh got louder, as if I was subconsciously trying to grab her attention and show her I wasn't fazed by her presence. But my throat went suddenly dry, stopping my pathetic outpouring of confidence. I gulped and looked back at Kay. I had to say it out loud; perhaps the absurdity of the words would wake me up from my haze.

"Remember I told you my first major gay crush was Valentina, my Spanish teacher? Well, she's here."

Kay's eyes went wide. "Here? Here-here?" I nodded. "Which one?"

The bartender placed my whiskey in front of me, giving me a timely excuse to calm my nerves a little. Kay impatiently tapped her hand on the bar top while I gulped down half the glass.

"Don't look too obviously please, but she's the tall brunette standing next to Dave."

"Yellow top?"

I paused for a second and couldn't recall what she was wearing. "I don't know, I didn't look at her clothes."

"Uh-hmm, I know what you were looking at." I jammed my elbow in Kay's ribs. "Ouch! I'm just saying," she wiggled her eyebrows, "it's easy to get distracted by things other than clothing when looking at her."

"Stop staring!" I scowled.

Kay playfully shrugged and turned her head back.

"Dios Mío, she's scorching hot." She fanned her face.

"Imagine twenty years ago." More whiskey went in. "Actually no, don't imagine, she looked exactly the same."

Kay ordered a Martini and snuck another glance back at her. "What's she doing here?"

"I have no idea. Looks like Dave knows her." That was a fair assumption, considering she was standing near the groom-to-be and talking to him.

"I think he knows her husband."

My mouth dropped open and hung there. Husband?! My head flung back and that's when I saw him, tall and sexy, greying hair in a George Clooney kind of way, arm around her waist, matching ring on his finger. Well, what did I expect, I chastised myself. I wanted to stop looking but my eyes couldn't help but take a pit stop at her face. She was also looking at me, more puzzled than before.

"They probably work together." I tried to sound nonchalant, but I'm sure Kay noticed the tinge in my voice.

She put her hand on mine and offered a smile. "Are you OK?"

"Yes. No... I don't know." I blabbered. "I don't know how to explain it. She was my first crush. I... I wrote her poetry for God's sake!" It had been years since I'd thought of those letters and love poems. A silly childish thing, I had later convinced myself. Kay didn't react. "You know intense first loves, right? You get over them but they still pinch you in the soul when you think about them. So how about when you see them?"

"They're special, yeah. If Mrs. Williams was here, I'd probably be worse off than you. And she wasn't even half as sexy as... that." She tilted her head in Valentina's direction.

"Mrs. Williams?!"

"My swimming coach. I told you about her."

"Oh, your first wetness instructor!"

Kay chuckled and glanced again in the direction of my current tormentor. "She can't take her eyes off you, if that's any solace."

"Huh?!"

"Yeah, every time I look at her, she's staring exactly at you. You think she recognized you?"

I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "I don't know. Last time we talked, I was fourteen and still a blabbering fool. I spotted her once at a party several years later, but didn't have the confidence to approach her and she didn't seem to notice me. I doubt she'd recognize me now."

"Well, at least she's intrigued by you. You gonna talk to her, at any point?"

"I guess. We're stuck here for an entire weekend, I'll find the courage to say hi at some point." But what would I say, how would I start?

"Let me know before you do. We need to make sure you're dressed correctly and well lubricated." Kay tapped her glass to clarify any misunderstanding.

"Hah, I'll keep that in mind, but I'm afraid it'll be awkward regardless."

Time to mentally start rehearsing my speech. Starting with a 'Hi, remember me? I'm the silly student who wrote you love poems two decades ago,' wouldn't exactly be the best introduction, would it?

"It'll be alri... Christ on a bike!" Kay slapped her hands on the bar top, her eyes round in horror, fixated on the room's entrance.

"What?" I turned to see the reason she was struck and... Fuck. No. Fuck. No way. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What in the living hell was she doing here?!

My body, which had just managed to absorb the shock of seeing Valentina in my vicinity, was being thrown off a cliff a second time at the sight of Scarlett entering the bar.

I wasn't ready. I would never, ever be ready to see Scarlett again. And yet here she was, walking in, trampling on my heart once more and crushing the debris with each step she took. She didn't spot me and I prayed that she wouldn't ever look in my direction. Perhaps that would give me enough time to dig a hole and bury myself in it.

My eyes followed her across the room. Through my foggy vision, I saw her approach Dave's group, shake hands with everyone, hug Dave and joke with him, then, to my absolute astonishment and horror, hug Valentina and give her a couple of pecks on the cheeks.

"They know each other?!" Kay's voice expressed the same confusion I felt. "How is it possible that they know each other? And what on earth is she doing here?"

All questions that could not be answered.

Kay signaled to the bartender for more drinks. I downed the remainder of my whiskey glass and figured I needed at least two more to absorb this new situation. My alcohol consumption was bound to skyrocket through the weekend, but perhaps that was for the best. More chances of getting hammered and skipping the festivities altogether.

Valentina alone, I could have possibly managed, if given some time to adjust and prepare beforehand. But Scarlett too? She'd recognize me instantly, no doubt about that, and there was no telling what her reaction would be. I had to be ready for every possibility, from outrage to smugness, nostalgia, indifference, and perhaps even remorse. She was human after all, and there was a chance, even if slim, that she'd regret how she handled our last interaction.

Kay's hand was knowingly squeezing mine. Whatever little solace that brought was overshadowed by the internal dismantling of my entire being at the resurfacing memories.

Scarlett was my boss's sister and a contractual associate at the engineering firm where I interned during my college years. That's where I met Kay too and how we became close friends, and that's also how she assisted to the train wreck that was my two-year story-slash-non-story with Scarlett, from bourgeoning friendship to near business partnership to absolute disaster. Kay had been there when the pieces of my heart shattered and she helped me glue them back together.

"I could say I have the flu and stay in bed all weekend."

"No. You're not leaving me alone to handle all the crazy aunts, chatty old men, and horny singles hitting on me." She scolded me. "Seriously, we're not letting Em down, alright? She's been with us through thick and thin, the least we could do is be good bridesmaids at her wedding."

I sighed. She was absolutely right. This was Emily's and Dave's weekend, and my personal drama had to take a backseat, even if that meant I'd combust internally at one or many points.

"I guess I can use this as an opportunity to close a few unfinished chapters in my life."

"That's the spirit!" Kay clinked our new glasses together. "Take some time to adjust and calm down, then go talk to them when you're ready."

"I don't think I'll ever be ready," I sneered, "but I can try to be an adult."

"You've changed a lot since Scarlett, you don't give yourself enough credit for that." Kay squeezed my hand again. "I'm sure you'll find a way to face this gracefully. But until then, we drink!"

"Hear hear!" We clinked glasses once more and I took a large sip, my nerves a little calmer now. I wanted to look back at the two of them again but my common sense prevailed. I had two more full days to do that. For now, I was better off regaining my composure.

The mere idea that they were here, in the same room as me, while terrifying at first, was slowly transforming into excitement. After the initial shock began to wear off, a sense of trepidation was spreading through me. Perhaps, with a bit of maturity and a lot of distance, I could have a healthy conversation with each of them and give my heart the closure it deserved for each of these stories.

Valentina had triggered my coming of age phase. Everything I was now, everything I did, everything I had become, all of it started developing when I met her. And Scarlett was the end of my tormented years. Because of her, at twenty-two years old, I stopped questioning whether I was a closeted lesbian or a confused straight girl and finally realized I didn't have to be one or the other, I could simply be bi. Smack between them were the delightful Megan years. But that was another story altogether.

The three of them formed the cornerstones of my adolescence and the pillars upon which my adulthood was built. I was a poet because of Valentina, even if I preferred English to Spanish nowadays; I was an empathic and perceptive person because of Megan; and I loved my engineering career and finally accepted my sexual identity because of -- or more like in spite of -- Scarlett.

Nothing physical had ever happened with any of them. In Valentina and Megan's cases, I was too young and it would have been illegal to begin with, and in Scarlett's case, her staunch homophobic attitude was a teensy bit of an obstacle. But even without any physical actions, even if largely one-sided, even if exaggerated by my desperately romantic adolescent brain, these three loves had changed the course of my life.

"On the upside, you'll get to see them in a swimsuit!" Kay blurted. The thought caught me by surprise and I laughed.

"Tomorrow's pool party! How could I forget?"

"Your emotional meltdown shall be properly compensated."

I laughed again. "That makes it all so much better."

"Think about it. You could have met them at a booze-less funeral in Minnesota, but nope, you get to see them during an open-bar weekend wedding in Costa Rica. I mean, that's just pure good luck."

"I know, right? I should just thank my lucky stars for th..."

"One margarita, please," a raspy voice near me said.

No. Not possible.

No, no, nope, no. Not in a million years.

I knew that voice, I would recognize it even if I were 99% deaf. But I didn't dare turn, I couldn't face this, face her. Not today, not here. Not knowing the other two women were standing a few feet away. What kind of cruel dimension had I stepped into? Was this Em's and Dave's wedding or my funeral? And in which universe was it possible for me to be in the same place as Valentina, and also Scarlett, and now... Megan?!

Kay saw my now stone-cold face and tilted her head questioningly. I felt myself get dizzy and held onto the bar top for dear life. "Hey, hey, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

I raised my finger in a gesture telling her to give me a second. Or ten. Or perhaps an hour. How do I say it out loud? I couldn't even comprehend what was happening, let alone find the words for it. Kay rubbed my shoulder patiently, but before I could explain things to her, I had to be sure.

I silently gestured again to ask her to wait and slowly turned my head the other way. Oh, shit. One sideway glance is all it took to recognize Megan sitting one stool away from me. The signature blonde hair was gone, but it was definitely her, with her gorgeous white skin, aquiline nose, fresh pink lips, and kind green eyes. She didn't spot me looking. I flipped my head back and gulped. I was trembling.

"Third one." I barely squeezed to Kay. She didn't seem to understand. I tilted my head in Valentina and Scarlett's direction, then tilted it toward the bar stool where Megan sat, and whispered again, "Third one."

"Th-third?!" She glanced in the indicated direction. I nodded. "No fucking way!" Exactly my thoughts, dear, exactly my thoughts. "What cruel joke is this?"

I shook my head in disbelief.

"I was ready to handle those two, but not..." There wasn't enough saliva in my mouth to finish that sentence. I was paralyzed. My eyes were open but I wasn't seeing anything, my nose was breathing but I felt like I was suffocating, my legs were shaking but they seemed numb, my ears were ringing, and my poor heart was racing for the third time in less than an hour. Could it handle this third shock? Maybe, maybe not. A heart attack would get me out of here, wouldn't it? Silver lining.

As if sneering at my silliness, my heart started to come off its high. It's amazing what the human body can handle under duress. You think you've pushed it to its limits, you believe some things could break it, but it takes the punch and bounces off, once, twice, thrice. A few hours ago, if you told me I'd still be breathing after seeing Valentina, Scarlett, and Megan in the span of an hour, I would have mocked your delusional optimism. Yet there I was, conscious and breathing -- barely, but still.

"Come on, we're getting you out of here." Kay, took my hand and gathered her phone and key card.

"But Em... and Dave..." I half-heartedly objected.

"Yeah well Em isn't here yet and she'd understand if she knew. No one will notice if we disappear for a bit."

Perfect logic. I got off my stool and we dashed toward the exit without a single glance in any direction. The moment the bar door closed behind me, I bent forward and sighed while clutching my stomach. I felt sick. "Thanks."

Kay rubbed my back. "Let's get you some fresh air."

We went to the outdoor pool deck. The night breeze felt both soothing and invigorating. We walked for a bit and reached the side of the deck facing the sea. The sound of the crashing waves was all I needed to gain back my grasp on reality.

I leaned on the ramp and watched in silence each distant wave roll and tumble slowly in front of me. There was no break, no moment at which a wave was able to retreat properly before it was washed out by its successor... kind of like my three teenage love stories.

I don't know why I started talking, but the words began to slowly pour out of me.

"It feels like my past has slapped me in the face. And punched me in the gut. And kicked me in the ass." I said while counting from one to three on my fingers.