4 Little Words - Story B: Replacement

I jumped in, "Its true Matt, I love you so much, I am lost without you."

He didn't look convinced, is was the first time he hadn't just accepted that statement. Despite that and Matt looking deeply unhappy he agreed to stay, sleeping in the spare room until we sorted things out, it was on the condition that Glen moved out of the annex immediately.

I tried to repair things with Matt, but it was very slow progress. The weeks passed by and I was feeling more depressed. I'd hurt Matt and the thought of Glen being alone with no one to help him made me even more depressed.

Matt sat me down again to talk, "I accept you have feelings for Glen, he loved you enough to track me down and leave and I won't sit around and watch you become unwell again."

I was concerned, "Are you saying I can see him again... where does that leave us?"

Matt sighed, "It leaves us on very delicate ground. I think you were right about drifting apart, taking each other for granted. I like my home and lifestyle, so in practical terms I'd like to keep that."

"It wasn't until you weren't here that I realised how supportive you were and how much I need you Matt, but its more than that, I still love you and want to be with you."

"I honestly don't know about that yet, its freaks me out; I can't see how we can share you."

Despite Matt's initial concern that's what we did, it wasn't ideal, I had lost that intimacy with Matt, things only two people shared, but we gained in other ways and made it work. I saw Glen a couple of times each week when Matt was busy, it felt pretty natural in the end, a sort of extended friendship. I never fully got over my guilt but I made sure Matt was getting more attention and more sex than ever.

With Matt and Glen's encouragement and support, I felt stronger and more confident; I dropped my frumpy clothes and dressed sexier. Matt got to spend all of the time he wanted at work and on hobbies much to Glen's delight, and I always spoilt him on his return. We promised Matt that we would be discreet and no one need know about our 'agreement'.

I think the boys were in a bit of competition, both trying to outdo each other, Matt certainly raised his game, we experimented more sexually and felt closer as a result.

So technically I had two husbands, its sounds so decadent and completely ridiculous for someone like me: a simple suburban middle aged housewife. But it seemed perfectly natural and I love both of my men to bits, I had never been happier.

Matt:

I thought about our relationship, Susan was right we had drifted and I accepted that she did love both me and Glen. We ended up as some weird trio and got by in the most part, but it never felt right to me. I wasn't happy but thought the current arrangements were as good as it was going to be. The idea of divorce, starting again and the financial impact was disturbing.

We were at another neighbourhood party where Susan was spending most of her time with Glen and he was being the life and sole as usual. She was dressed provocatively, with quite a bit of cleavage and thigh on show. So much for being discreet, I was furious but didn't want to call them out in front of everyone.

Then the host seeing me alone introduced me to another lone neighbour. Diane was divorced from a cheating husband and seemed to be delighted to "be rid of bad news" as she put it. She had a warm bubbly personality, was easy to talk to and very attractive.

She noticed my glances across to Susan and being forthright asked me about it. She was staggered that my wife would be acting that way with another man. I'm not sure why but I quickly recited a summary of our story, despite having only just met Diane. It actually felt good offloading, although some of it was hard to admit.

Diane started asking lots of questions, making it clear she was less than impressed with both Susan and Glen, saying what they had done was deceitful and underhand and how dare they keep me hanging on. I tried to explain that we had drifted and I was concerned about her health, but Diane was having none of it. They were both cheating bastards in her books, I found myself liking her blunt assessment.

Having someone defend me for the first time threw me, I wasn't used to it. I realised I liked her, liked her a lot and took another closer look at her. She was perhaps a fraction overweight, put carried it so well that voluptuous was better description. Her brown hair was pinned up with curls left trailing to frame what was a very pretty face. But it was her deep rich brown eyes that caught my attention, it was easy to get lost in those.

It felt like minutes but the party was winding up, we spent the whole night talking to each other. It was then I noticed Susan looking over, she didn't seem happy. I told Diane I had the best night in ages and tentatively asked if we could meet again. She looked across towards Susan before turning to me.

"Well at the risk of your wife killing me yes, I've had a wonderful night and would love to spend some more time with you. And it's maybe not a bad thing for your wife to feel the shoe on the other foot."

We quickly exchanged numbers before Diane left, I looked up to see Susan storming toward me, Glen was nowhere in sight.

"And just who was that slut you have been drooling over all night."

"That was Diane and she is actually a really lovely person."

"That tramp was all over you!"

"I am surprised you noticed and you've got some nerve, you and Glen being stuck together was the reason I spoke to her in the first place. So much for your promise of being discreet, even the neighbours were too embarrassed to talk to me; thankfully Diane saved me from total indignity."

"But, but...that's different, it's Glen."

"Doesn't feel nice does it Susan?"

Things were quiet between us for the next few days, despite that Susan said she was still going on her regular date night with Glen, she did look stunning. She paid me more attention than usual and assured me she still loved me. After Glen picked her up, I got ready and went out on my own date.

I felt a real connection and attraction toward Diane. It was on our fifth date that we consummated our relationship. Sex with Dianne was earth shatteringly good, she was absolutely dynamite in bed, full of enthusiasm and energy. It was the first time I had experienced a woman saying she loved my cock and wanting more. There was desperation and eagerness in her actions and she made all sorts of mewing and moaning noises that frankly blew my mind. Sex with Susan had never been like that, Dianne made me feel desired, it was loving and desperate at the same time.

I wondered if that's why I had lost some interest with Susan, most of the time she just lay there, eyes shut, very little noise. She never spoke or encouraged, I couldn't remember a positive comment or compliment. It was in stark contrast to Diane's encouragement and direction.

Susan wasn't happy that I wasn't home when she returned from her date. She was even less impressed when I trailed in at 2am and launched straight into an attack, asking where the fuck I'd been.

I saw no reason to lie and told her the truth; she accused me of cheating, the irony being totally lost on her.

"What you mean like you have been for the past 6 months."

"That's different, it's just Glen and we told you about it."

"You told me about it afterward, just like I've told you about it, it doesn't make things even but at least balances things a fraction, don't you think?"

I stomped up the stairs and into the spare room before she could reply.

We had a calmer conversation the following day. The essence was that if I loved her I wouldn't continue to see Diane.

"Oh does that mean you will give up Glen... if you love me that is."

It took the wind out of her sails and we sat quietly for a while.

"Can I ask you something, is sex with Glen better than with me."

She refused to answer at first, and then admitted it was all new different and exciting at the start, things had calmed down some since.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well it was different with Diane; I wondered if that's what you had experienced with him."

"Different how?"

"Without going into the details, she made me feel good about myself; she was enthusiastic and just really into it and into me."

Susan didn't reply, I could see the frown, so I went on.

"It stopped being like that with us; you weren't very responsive and didn't say much. I started having doubts about myself, about satisfying you. I think that's why I started pulling away or at least some of the reason. I didn't want you having sex with me out of a sense of duty."

"I never meant to make you feel that way; I thought that was just normal, it might still be normal for a lot of people. I guess my time with Glen changed things. Are you going to see her again, we're still married, I still love you and you being with her hurts."

"I want to see her, I like her and I think it's fair in the circumstances. It might be better for us both to separate."

"Nooo please don't do that, when you left I really missed you, I need you... you were always the strongest of us, stronger than Glen and my best friend; I was lost without you."

"So you can have Glen, but I can't have someone. And another thing that party was humiliating... why did you do that."

"It wasn't deliberate, I didn't realise."

"I struggle to believe that, you knew what you were doing and I think you liked it. Must have been quite the power kick, actually the whole thing is, isn't it, having two men chase you and love you."

***

I did keep seeing Dianne, the intensity of our feelings increased. Almost as much as my relationship with Susan cooled, we were barely speaking. Things came to a head when Susan saw us out, she stomping up to us in a bar and began shouting.

"Get your fucking hands off my husband."

That drew both a crowd and a hushed silence in the bar.

"You lost the right to say that when you bedded another man, his best friend no less."

The crowd sucked in a breath in unison.

"That's between me and Matt and has nothing to do with you."

"Well seeing as your husband will be in my bed tonight, I'd it has something to do with me, don't ya think. Where is your boyfriend anyways?"

I got the distinct impression Diane was enjoying this, Susan not so much; her neck was red and blotchy.

"Please Matt, come home we can sort this out. I, I'll drop Glen."

"I thought you loved him."

"Never as much as I loved you."

"Or maybe never quite so much as you loved yourself Susan."

It was the first time I had seen Susan as she truly was, "You encouraged Glen for months, loving the attention. We could have separated and divorced and behaved like decent people but you wanted it all. And when I find someone to love, you spit your dummy out. You are selfish and deceitful, Glen is welcome to you, I am leaving with Diane."

As we were leaving Dianne squeezed into my arm, "So you have got something you love do you?"

"I, well..."

"It's ok Matt, I love you too."

Epilogue:

I married Diane 18 months later after a protracted divorce that Susan tried hard to fight.

Susan and Glen married but things weren't working out. They had money problems, the only way he had helped the kids was because I had given him a free place to stay.

Glen asked me to speak to Susan as she was unwell and I reluctantly agreed.

I tried saying things to make it amicable, it was right for us both to move on, she needed to focus on her future with Glen etc. She didn't agree and begged me to come back to her.

I turned to Glen shook my head and left. Glen followed me out the door 3 weeks later leaving Susan alone. Seems she couldn't have her cake and eat it after all!