4 Little Words - Story C: Friends

I wrote a story a while back called 'Avoiding those 4 little words,' it wasn't very popular and scored low, perhaps expected that as it didn't involve an obvious BTB for the wife. However there was interest enough to try a few more stories on the same theme. I have used the same introduction for the couple and diverged from there. They are stand-alone stories and do not have to be read together or in order. Please be warned this group of stories explores hotwife and cuckold themes but with different consequences. I appreciate that's a major turn off for many and reading something else might be a better a choice for you. Still, I hope some folk enjoy them.

Matt was nearing 50, at 5ft 10inches and 180lbs, he seemed to be in a never ending battle not to put on too much weight and just about managed it, at least most of the time. His original dark hair had increasing flecks of grey, which he laughed off as a distinguishing feature. Still working as an engineer, the job took up a lot of time but as he enjoyed it so much he didn't mind the extra hours. Thankfully as the children had begun their own adult lives, this meant Matt had more time to pick up on the hobbies of his youth including golf, fishing and anything relating to the outdoors, he was at last able to go on the extended trips with his long standing friends.

As for me, 'Susan', I was 46, 5ft 7 with green eyes and blonde collar length hair cut into waves. Regular gym sessions helped me stay in shape but age had still impacted leaving a curvier figure. I worked part time as a teacher and had a passion for reading, theatre, film and the arts. I love classic films from the 50's and favoured vintage fitted skirts, dresses and jackets.

I missed the children terribly, there was a huge void when they left home and I felt lonely, this seemed to be compounded by Matt being endlessly busy at work or away on another trip. My self-confidence was completely eroded, I was so uncertain of myself. At first I was sure it must just be a phase that many empty nester mums had to get used to. We had talked about it endlessly but he seemed oblivious, whilst repeated attempts to do things together as a couple were relegated behind both his work and hobbies. Given how hard he worked I was happy he had time to do the things he enjoyed, I just wished more of them involved me.

Months later and nothing had improved; in fact they were significantly worse. I went to my GP and he diagnosed depression, I was horrified and embarrassed.

and tried talking to Matt who seemed to think the tablets would fix it, he didn't really offer any support. I also talked to friends and family, especially my best friend Helen who was really concerned about me.

Matt:

I couldn't put my finger on it, but something with Susan felt off. It was different to her struggles since the kids left, we had been trying to work through those issues for ages, but there was little I could do to help.

No this was different, she seemed distracted and I felt like we were drifting. I tried talking to her numerous times, but never got anywhere. I wondered if she could be having an affair, but none of her routines had changed. She spent most of her free time with her best friend Helen. It was amazing, they could go shopping together in the morning and then spend two hours on the phone in the afternoon 'just catching up', how do women do that? They had known each other since school and had even gone to university together.

Helen suffered a troubled marriage; she came to stay with us for a while after that, taking a long time to recover. She eventually got sorted out and found her own place, but never seemed to stick with any relationship for very long after that. It was a surprise, as she was very attractive in a dark smouldering way. I'd tease her about it and she give as good back; saying she was far too feisty for most men to cope with; she might have had a point there.

Susan and Helen did meet up with other friends for girl's nights out. I have read the stories and was worried about what might be involved, but then they would plaster photos all over social media which seem to cover every minute of the night out, just a bunch of friends enjoying a meal and drinks and no evidence of guys being involved.

Susan worked part time but I knew her colleagues, most were female, the few guys were different ages and just not her type. They were all nice people I couldn't see her having an affair with any of them.

***

In the end rather than causing another argument with Susan I decided to ask Helen if there was anything going on that I should know about. I broached it carefully, saying I was concerned about Susan, which was actually true. Helen's reaction wasn't really what I anticipated; she was at pains to say Susan was fine.

"You know she struggled since the kids left, it's probably just that."

"Well, maybe but it feels different, like something is wrong and her feelings toward me seem to be changing. Do you think she could be seeing someone else?"

"Don't ever think that, she tells me all the time how much she loves you. I swear Matt, Susan has never so much as looked at another man."

"Honest Helen, I am at a loss, there is something wrong but she refuses to talk about it."

"I know there is a void since the kids left and you're so busy. Maybe just spend some more time with her, its not engineering and something you can just fix; give her time and support, once she gets adjusted everything will be fine."

I recognised that the conversation was starting to upset Helen so changed tact, "Thanks Helen, maybe I am worrying too much, you're a great friend to both of us. How long have we known each other 20 odd years?"

"Yeah at least that, since meeting you in the Uni bar?" she brightened at the memory.

"You know, all those years ago, I saw you first and was building up the courage to ask you out, then Susan joined you and I quickly became entranced by her."

"I remember you being smitten by her, by each other really, everyone could see it. I had no idea you ever considered going out with me though, you might have saved me a whole world of pain from my ex-husband."

"I hope you find someone special, who values everything about you, it's the least you deserve."

Helen looked pensive, "Actually I think I might have found someone."

"Wow, sorry I had no idea and here's me moaning on, so who is the new guy?"

Helen looked flustered, "Oh it's errm early days, I'd rather not say."

"Fair enough, well I wish you the very best of luck, your ex was a 'prize prick' and you deserve a lot better. Let us know when you are ready to do introductions and we'll all go out together."

Helen enjoyed the description of her ex, saying it was highly accurate and we left the conversation there.

***

I realised Helen must have shared our conversation as Susan was suddenly very attentive and talkative. It was a pleasant change initially but then it left me feeling even more uneasy, like it was all an act.

We were sitting in the kitchen with Helen and I noticed her touch Susan's arm. There was nothing too unusual in that except Susan flinched, she pulled quickly away as if she had been stung. I thought it was a strange reaction and looked at Susan, seeing her eyes widen with concern.

Then I thought about all the time they spent together, all of the nights out, weekends away and Helen's words came back to me: 'Susan never looked at another man', surely not, I would know if my wife was...

By the look on her face and tears forming in her eyes, I think Susan realised what I was considering.

"Are you two..." I couldn't think of the right word to finish the sentence: lovers, together, bi, fucking, cheating. It was like my brain couldn't quite comprehend it.

The silence lasted an age, Helen and Susan looking at each other and then back at me, eventually Susan nodded miserably. I must of misunderstood, that can't be right.

"You're what... cheating?"

"We've been trying to find a way to tell you, I knew we couldn't hide it from you."

I was completely lost for words, my whole world crumbling before me.

"I am sorry Matt, but me and Helen were together before we ever met, back in our university days!"

"So what, you maintained a secret relationship over all these years?"

"What No! we we've just been friends since me and you got together and married. Then when I was struggling after the kids left, Helen was really supportive and you were so busy, we got closer again then. We kissed after I was upset and it stirred up all of the old feelings."

"What the fuck was I then, just a sperm donor, here to provide a family before you return to your true love."

"God no, never that Matt, I loved and love you completely but I can't deny my feelings for Helen."

Helen joined in, "Susan left me for you, she fell for you completely and I was devastated."

"And now what, family all grown up and you don't need me anymore! You can ease your conscience and go live happily ever after with your girlfriend?"

"It's not like that Matt, I still love you, and I never want to leave you. I was hoping we could find some way to..." she shrugged.

I interrupted turning to Helen, "Was it Susan you were talking about the other day, when you said you had found someone."

She nodded, almost as miserably as Susan.

"I thought you were my friend as well, I never realised it was all just a cover to be near Susan."

"It isn't like that Matt, I was... I am your friend, you have been nothing but kind to me, especially after the divorce and I knew Susan loved you and needed you. I'm so very sorry."

"Nice words, but then you've betrayed me just like she has."

Susan replied, maybe to protect her lover, "I love you more than anything but I love Helen as well, I can't abandon her again."

"Can't abandon your lover, but quite happy to destroy me. What is it then, true love or is it the sex, does she satisfy you in ways I can't. Guess I am going to struggle if you've always been into girls more."

"I love you Matt, it's not like that, and it's not about sex. It's about our feelings for each other."

"But you do have sex ... how often?"

"Just odd times."

I raised an eye brow in disbelief.

Susan sighed "Sorry, its every couple of days when you are at work."

"Whilst I get a pity fuck once a week, it's clear to see what you prefer."

"Never that, it's just different, its intense and exhausting with us, we need time to recover and we do it more than once a week."

The silence stretched out, the anger was building and I was struggling to contain it.

"Did you use our bed?"

Susan's downcast eyes shot up in horror," I didn't think... it wasn't planned."

"Great I provided the house and bed for your affair and I was oblivious, you have made a total bloody fool of me and my life. You, you... fucking bitches!"

I stormed out of the house!

***

I found myself up the coast, about 12 miles from home. I must have been walked for hours but couldn't remember any of it, my mind racing and unable to focus on any one thing. I turned miserably and started to trudge back toward the coast road, only to see Helen pull up her car.

"How did you..."

She waved a phone, "Susan's find a phone app, please can I give you a lift and talk to you.

I was knackered, too tired to argue and got in, "You might as well, it seems there are three of us in this relationship."

"Susan is distraught!"

"That's makes two of us."

"I know, I am so sorry, you're the last people I would ever want to hurt and I've hurt both of you. This is my fault not hers, please forgive her."

"Do you love her?"

The question seemed to surprise her, "Yes Matt, I always have."

"Does she love you?"

"Yes I think she does... but she chose you over me before, although I think she felt guilty about it. I had to watch the person I love marry someone else and then raise a wonderful family. I was such a small part of her life, steeling time with her as a friend. We never got together over the years, she loves you and talks about you all the time. I'm jealous of everything you both have together."

I realised Helen was crying, but had no urge to comfort her of make her feel better.

"You saved me you know, both of you, I was in a really bad place after my divorce and you were patient and kind, it reminded me there were good people who cared for me. I don't want to break you two up, please know I will leave before you do."

"It seems like you can make the sacrifice my wife can't or is unwilling to."

"She would though, she would choose you, she's just trying to protect me and not reject me again. But if it comes down to that, the choice is you and it would be the right choice. I'll leave, I hope you can work things out but please don't run away or throw her out, it would destroy her."

"That's exactly how I feel Helen, destroyed!"

***

Was it better or worse than her having an affair with a man? Maybe it felt less invasive and I wasn't competing in the same way. But in others ways it felt worse, my wife being bisexual attacked my ego and pride. Some might criticise that as an immature, but it was all linked to who I thought I was and having confidence in myself.

Then I thought about how embarrassing it would be, to be the guy whose wife ran off with another woman, worse again if they still lived locally and I had to see them. Shit, of course I would have to see them, we had the kids and family, and I wouldn't be able to avoid them, however desperately I might want to. The idea of her introducing her new girlfriend to everyone we knew send a cold shiver down my spine.

Man or women she was a cheat and had broken the trust I had in her. Nothing but 'a lying fucking cheat' I said to myself. She said sorry but I didn't get the impression she was sorry at all and she certainly hadn't offered to stop or beg for forgiveness. This had to be the end of us, there was no way round that.

These were just some of my jumbled thoughts before I spoke to Susan, but I was still unable to focus clearly on anything: 'Why' kept flashing into my mind, 'what I did wrong' and 'does she realise how fucking devastating this is.'

I looked at her sitting on the settee for the first time in my life with contempt, it seemed to unsettle her...'good'.

"Well it's your show Susan and I haven't got a clue what's going on, so why don't you start."

"I am sorry to be hurting you Matt; you don't deserve any of what I am putting you through. I can only appreciate a fraction of the turmoil you must be feeling and I'm mortified to be the one causing it to the person I am supposed to care for and protect above everything else.

You must be thinking I am a lying cheating bitch... and you would be right! I tried to resist when all of those feelings rushed back about her. I wanted to tell you but couldn't see how, and then I thought it might just pass and I'd regain control of myself. I am an educated reasonably sensible woman after all, not some love sick teenager. But when we finally got together, everything got more and more intense and I couldn't stop it. I knew it was wrong, a car crash waiting to happen and that I couldn't stop.

Please accept there is absolutely nothing you have done wrong, you haven't driven me away or failed in anyway. This is purely about long held feelings I have for Helen. And as much as I'd like to, I can't apologise for loving her. Whatever happens with us, I will do everything I can to save you from as much pain or embarrassment as I can."

I was starting to think she was mind reader or a fucking Jedi, she was organising my thoughts better than I understood them. She really did know me better than anyone else. I had the 'how' and most of the 'why', some recognition of the impact and a declaration it wasn't what I had done. I wasn't sure I believed that, but let it go for now. I didn't have an apology but she was at least honest about it.

I slumped in the chair lost for words and just... lost, "What do you want to happen Susan?"

"I don't know Matt none of this was planned, the last thing I want is to lose you, but I love Helen as well, I can't deny that."

"So you keep saying, I feel like a fool, good old reliable Matt, he's a nice guy, not man enough to keep his wife though, turned her lesbian."

"It's not like that I all, I still desire you, your handsome, interesting and passionate and I'm not a lesbian. She was my first love. We just grew so close again, it felt natural. We both felt so much for each other back then, but I was scared and confused and broke off the relationship. I was afraid of admitting my love for a girl, of committing and being labelled as a lesbian. It was different back then and I had always wanted a family. And amid all of that, I met you and you swept me completely off my feet.

Helen was so hurt when I broke up with her, she sent hundreds of messages and begged me to take her back. I broke her heart and all the time when I was ecstatically happy and falling more and more in love with you. Later Helen admitted that she never loved her husband and that she never got over me, all those years where she was alone and all due to me."

"So what am I supposed to do, turn a blind eye to the fact you're in love with someone else. You the person I trusted with my life, who shared everything: my thoughts, dreams, weaknesses."

Susan burst into tears, "No we still have all of that, I trust you with my life and share things just the same as you do."

"Except you didn't share one thing Susan, one very important thing, you kept that secret well buried. At best I get a shadow of you, I realise now that I never really knew who you were."

"That's not true, you know me better than anyone, I shared everything, I wasn't keeping things from you over the years and it was all in the past, just like your ex-girlfriends. You still have all of me, my love for you is just the same."

"Apart from the small fact you have a lover, you can't give us both 100%. Even if I could forgive you and I'm really not sure I can, you can't have us both, it would be me or Helen. That's the choice you have to make."

Susan looked mortified, "I can't answer that, it would hurt one of the two people I love most than the world, she's always loved me and been so lonely. I treated her poorly and she still wanted to be my friend."

I nodded, the realisation settling in, "You did just answer it, you can't give her up even though it means losing me."

"I, I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

Staring for what seemed like an eternity through the snot and the tears, she almost gargled, "Please don't leave me, I'll do anything you want."

"You will do anything... except give her up; I have my answer then, goodnight Susan."

I left her crying and collapsed into the spare bed. I was in turmoil but stuck, where could I go, what would I do? I didn't have the money for hotels or apartments. Maybe I should insist Susan leaves, a good old fashioned 'sling her out', straight into the arms of Helen no doubt. Every scenario I thought of was a complete shit show.

***

We were living in the same house but hardly speaking to each other and I was continuing to sleep in the spare room. A week later, I came in from a game of squash and a couple of pints to find the two of them sitting in the living room. I had to admit they both looked stunning. Fully made up, Susan was wearing a tight brown leather skirt which I hadn't seen outside of the bedroom before, and an equally tight cream silk blouse. If anything Helen looked even better in a figure hugging azure dress and heels.

I took the offered beer and sat on the couch, with Susan sitting next to me. Then she instigated what was clearly a plan to bring me round.

"You know Matt, you're seeing this all wrong, like you are losing something. Why not try to see it a different way, like you might be gaining something," she began kissing my neck as she was speaking.