All Comments on '48 Hours'

Was his wife getting some strange in Savvanah or was it he sister in law?

2* poorly done ending, to many questions unresolved

I like your writing and I enjoyed this story. You might want to brush up on your mathematics, though. If one third of the housewives are above average, most of the rest cannot be average unless there is a very skewed distribution.

and if matching tats are required.....go for it. TK U MLJ LV NV

OK , I wasn't sure till the very end , but I suspected a twist was coming .

Still , I really did enjoy this a lot .

It's always a great day when one of the big 3 post !

5 *'s

Ripple in still water

When there is no pebble tossed

Nor wind to blow

Excellent story.

Great twist in the end. Many people won't get it and complain.

Just a warning.

And I can still have problems with it. What Michelle did in covering up the affair will diminish George's trust in his wife because the relationship of the twins has made it clear Monique's values and cheating ways only seem important to Geotge. His wife on the other hand, who is willing to condone and assist with cheating will soon fall and when she does, she's going to land as hard as Monique is about too.

So who was cheating? The wife or her identical twin? As far as I can tell, the story doesn't say. I usually enjoy your stories, so thank you for them. I just expected some clarity and, hopefully, revenge.

Did Stienman do twins ? She like to have everything I did.

Apparently, too subtle for some. I don't usually like crime stories, but this was convoluted enough to keep me interested. I haven't quite put Mr. Steinman's involvement together. I'll have to read it again. It seems clear that the victim's wife shot them, so I don't know what his involvement could have been. Maybe it was too subtle for me :-). Nice story.

I caught on at the middle of story. Good twist only problem she does everything the sister does . So did she already cheat to ?

Thanks for sharing. *****

Do you suppose it was her vagina he was filling?

"I should have stopped watching but I couldn't. If I had I wouldn't have seen him empty his nut buried balls deep into her womb. "

identical twin red herring was tossed in. That plot device is similar to the old "deus ex machina" ploy. It can be a complete game changer if not introduced early in the plot.

Then there is the part where the guy nods his head "no." That doesn't happen. By definition, a nod means "yes". You shake your head "no".

Like others I'm a bit lost by the final scene.

1. I get the twin was the one caught in the video.

1a. I'm unsure why the partner who watched the video would have known it was the twin and not his colleague's wife. He identified her visually, and wouldn't have known about the tattoo. When he said, he'd have to speak to her (Michelle), the main char didn't correct him that the witness was someone else.

2. It isn't clear what Michelle had done already. She implies she does everything Monique has done, and since she was in Savannah and doesn't have her things, it likely was her. However, the behavior and final kiss implies it was only Monique.

Could use some editing and cleaning up I suspect.

And why the use of trousers and the introduction of Harrods?

As a regular reader of Kathy Reichs I can say I recognize the Charleston and the CMPD

JimC

I think it is his wife who was fucking him

I'm still confused. I don't THINK his wife cheated, but some of the remarks seem to imply that she did, even if the woman in the video was her twin sister. "Monique said it was so exciting" "We always had to do the same thing".

“started selling real estate.” – In the LW world, never a good thing! Too many opportunities! Working with a slut just adds to the potential grief. We also don’t know yet why she’s not still in her first marriage!

You better be very good to do that and walk away unsinged. Mainefiddleheads is indeed good, but is he 'that' good. To me, this is right on the cusp of pro quality authoring. The only element is the narrator is almost an android in his methodical search for truth. But is that a valid complaint because his very job is to use scientific method all along the way?

Two thing for sure....first is I was thinking of some very skilled authors like LeCarre and Patricia Highsmith with a narrator being but a functionary cog, a camera lens for the reader to observe a wicked world as this story was read. The second certainty is Mainefiddleheads is no longer content with the traditional Loving Wives format of heartless/artless/ feckless wife cheats on devoted husband and gets massive clichéd, karmic smackdown.

Full marks * * * * *

If you read closely, you will see the tattoo is on different ass cheeks on each sister. The killer is thus clearly identified as the sister, not the wife, a.k.a. the right ass cheek.

Are we sure the video didn't catch the scene in a mirror, thus back to implicating Sweetie?

Quibble: What are tropical fish doing in Rich Bull's data storage system ... or was it TERAbytes in size?

5*

Still a bit confused

A sorry cop out.

Neither twin is the murderer. But what was wifey doing in Savannah while sis was with Steinman?

A lot of fun in the unanswered questions about exactly what was going on

here.

@Harddaysknight and the killer...The killer was the lover's boy wife, with or without the complicity of the cheater's husband...Now: the cop wife's sister was the lover of the cheated and cheating husband...So the final conclusion the cop wife was taking the place of her sister in her brother-in-law bed (without him knowing it)...Now both sisters had destroyed their marriages, just for some fun. 3*

I did not write what I intended. The adulterer was the sister and not the cop's wife. I am not sharp enough to do anything in a hurry!

of the purity of the cop's wife... I think they were both doing him.

Otherwise, entertaining bit.

Tattoos - not a good idea if you are going to show up in anything like a line up.

Green-something

He was with Monique on Monday at his home (it's on the video)

He was at the motel in Savannah with Michelle later in the week (she left her shoes and panties in the room)

Remember they always want to do what the other does.

Steinman is possibly implicated in the murder because he was seen passing an envelope to the killer days before the crime at the deli.

Great tale 5*

Loved it, but didn't follow the twists the first time through, so was a little WTF at the end. Have to read it again. Masterful as always.

Identical Twins? Same size, same Tats, share shoes, and other things. Why not share a lover? I also think Steinman did both twins. What a rush for him. Excellent story 5 stars. Maybe one of these days you'll close the case on the twins.

Steinman fucked Michelle Monday Afternoon on into the evening where she left her perfumed scarf. There is no mention of the tattoo.

MFHf says: "around 9PM Steinman and his mistress entered the bedroom and resumed their amorous activities from the prior afternoon." This is a bit ambiguous, prior could mean Monday afternoon, or Tuesday afternoon. If Tuesday, I think he would have said 'earlier' in the afternoon. It was certainly Monique he was fucking Tuesday evening.

It is ambiguous as to weather it was Monique, or Michelle, probably both were fucking him again in Savannah.

The remaining mystery is how the boots & underwear got left behind in Savannah.

Chilley

His wife straight out says that if one twin sister does anything then the other does it also.

Short of it being a part of the action in the story what more needs said?

A good effort.

Mainefiddleheads your improvement as a writer is a pleasure for everyone.

3*s for a very big tease of a police procedural story.

Maybe you can bring back the detective in a longer, more developed sequel.

Thank you again,for the entertainment🔎🔫.

AMerryman

yet demanding a little more resolution. 4*. The twin device is a bit shallow but the crime prcedural was handled expertly enough. All the evidence is based on DVDs. A monied, intelligent Lothario could have manipulated the footage.

and if Michelle cheated like her sister Monique. It is clear the woman in the video with Steinman is the sister Monique. But since the twins did everthing the other did, that would mean Michelle would of had to try stepping out as well.

the other cop, Paul, wants to talk to anyone associated with Steinman. including anyone that might have been in the house earlier. Then he tells his wife that Paul needs to talk to her sister. That would indicate that the sister has been in the house and not the wife. It is obviously the sister that was on the video that showed the tattoo.

MFH had the protagonist infer that he was suspicious of his wife early on. At the end, she suddenly has a twin. My problem with this is the story is in first person which gives the reader access to one person's thoughts. The reader was never given that access in this story. MFH gave us some of his thoughts, the ones he felt would confuse, or mislead the reader. Somehow, our hero was able to not think about his wife's sister being an identical twin.

Obviously it was monique doing the douchebag, the perfume monique bought after sis had it, the scarf same thing,the boots were a trade...the only question is if momique cheated with this guy and she had chested twice before,wouldn't Michelle have cheated,too....it sounds like momique was with the guy in savannah, but was that all? The ending seems to indicate momique cheated and michelle covered for her,but is that all?

It's interesting to see so many guesses and reasoning about a relatively short and "simple" story. So I think MFH should clarify and eliminate false assumptions and put it to rest;

wow what a twist to the ending I thought for sure it was his wife the was the killer, then I thought she was the affair....good twist at the end...keep up the good stories.

I love the whip saw at the end. Well played. Thank you! (God, don't you hate people who use exclamation points!)

Well, the twist at the end relied on us not knowing about identical twins. Maybe if I go back and read carefully the seeds were cleverly planted, but I thought it was improbable. I am still thinking about the meatball sub.... yummy!

It really is unclear what is meant by "Why would you ever get involved like that?..." Like what? How was Michelle involved? It seems like Michelle joined Monique in her cheating bed if we take her statement, "If she did something I did it or the other way around." at face value. And since she did 'it' twice before without Donny knowing, she felt she could get away with it too. It sounds like Michelle and Monique were swapping their time with Steinman and maybe with even Donny as cover.

Definitely a ambiguous ending.

I need to picture it to understand it. I can not get there. Who the fuck did it? Dalel122422@gmail.com

There is also the possibility of a "hit" on the spouse of the other cheater, that is the spouse of the woman with the condo owner in home surveillance vid. So possibly the detective's SIL hubby could be at risk. Before the twin twist, I was worried bout a hit on the detective. OldBearSwitch

It almost covers my childish need for complete resolution at the end of a story, I'll just assume wife did cheat and he divorced her swanky ass.

And another variation on a theme.

Fun to follow the curves

I have just read 24 & 48 hours and you have turned *5* rated stories into *3s* by not finishing the stories. You leave too much to the imagination and it drives me crazy! One twin does something and the other has to do the same? So did they both do him? "You know Paul is going to have to talk to her." she says, "I know." Then walks over to the table and kisses him??? WTF did she or didn't she? Divorce? Or maybe he just shoots her? Please finish your stories...dare I read more?

I am going to recommend you not bother with my stories if imagination is a handicap to your enjoyment. Some stories have a 'they lived happily ever after' conclusion and others do not. I do not know if you have written your own stories or not but if you haven't, give it a try.

MFH

stories I have to finish. Is the author afraid of the names he'll be called if t he doesn't finish the story the right way?

Please re-read the ending and see that this story as it currently stands is finished. As for name calling? pffft I couldn't give a rats ass about any of that.

I can only conclude that the author meant for Michelle's 'cheating?' status to be ambiguous. He has firmly stated in a comment he posted that he considers the story finished, leaving everything up to the reader's imagination.

For me the main sentence in the story is the husband asking 'why would you ever get involved like that'? What does he mean 'like that'? the main question in the story. Does he believe that Michelle has been 'seeing' Steinman who is definitely 'seeing' Monique? Is Michelle somehow providing an alibi for Monique? Why was she in Savanna. Was she having a 3some with Steinman with her sister or was she just there to give Monique a reason to be out of the house from her husband Donny? If the 2 sisters always duplicated each other's actions, wouldn't Monique already have the same leopard heels as Michelle with no need to trade shoes? Did Steinman have sex with Michelle in the afternoon on Monday where no tattoo was displayed and Monique later in the day where the tattoo on the right butt cheek was displayed? There is enough ambiguous material that the reader could decide either way 'Did she or didn't she'?

As a detective, the husband asked an awful lot of open ended questions of Michelle with no follow up to clarify. He obviously thought he knew the story, but you certainly couldn't tell what he thought by how Michelle answered his questions.

The relevant quote:

---------

"Monique and I have always done everything together since we were little girls. We never had any secrets from each other. If she did something I did it or the other way around. If I bought a new dress, she would. If she bought a new perfume I'd have to try it. That's why she got that Victor & Rolf you bought me a few months ago. That's how we've always been."

"Did you think it was all that exciting, enough to risk a marriage over?"

---------

Michelle knew what her sister was doing. Michelle traded her Gommas with her sister for Monique's Fendi heels. Monique bought Flowerbomb by Victor & Rolf after Michelle let her try it. Michelle very likely shared the silk scarf collection with Monique, just as she likely did with other clothes. And, Monique shared the tales of her indescretions with Michelle. Heck, their mom had told of doing phone sex. These women weren't shy about sharing tales of sexual adventures with each other.

Steinman was at the Doubletree in Savannah "holed up with some chick who wasn't there when the officers talked with him. They just noted the sexy lavender underwear and a pair of leopard print high heels they were pretty sure weren't his size."

Michelle was visiting with her sister in Savannah who was holed up with Steinman. Monique was likely with Michelle when Steinman was interviewed in his Doubletree hotel room.

Michelle got caught up with following her sister's affair. Monique had done it twice without getting caught. The reality of what was being risked by Monique didn't seem to begin to sink in with Michelle until her husband pointed it out - "Did you think it was all that exciting, enough to risk a marriage over?" - and she shed a few tears.

Basically, Michelle got wrapped up in the excitement of her sister having an affair and wanted to be close by to her when she was doing it this time. She went to Savannah to be close by while her sister, "the chick", was holed up with Steinman.

What isnt known is if Michelle will have her own affair sometime later. The big mess her sister is in now should dissuade her, but her casual reaction to everything at the end of the story makes me wonder.

Folowing what others have said.

Michelle Rogin was down in Savannah visiting with her sister.

Can one assume the 'twins' traded places? As an investigator, George would have seen through that. The end points clearly to Michelle trading places with her sister, what one does the other follows and how best to do that by than by trading. For me this story is not finished. The next logical question from George is ‘‘So did you swop with Monique?’

If George is not bothered be his wife’s seeming infidelity it should say so. There again I hate unanswered questions hence my statement. Any good investigator would ask this question.

Not all readers can follow what the writer sees.

what an asshole

Finish the story.

5*

Maybe you had fun writing, this reader didn't.

I had hoped that this was a sequel to 24, but it turns out to be another open ended story. Not sure what the wife's deal was. Was she cheating too? Guess we'll have to leave it to the detective.

This guy is not capable to hold on to the stories he writes and cannot finish them. I am amazed that some folks are giving him high grades for such a poorly written crap. 1 star from me.

Very engaging and compelling. Very well told.

His wife's sister was having the affair with Marin Steinman, and his wife was covering for her. For those of you who were confused.

Thanks for the explanation. I was one those who was confused. :-)

Incomplete story.

your heros are cucks who stay with cheating sluts

Shes does everthing her sister does right?

Her sister fucked Mr S in his house, and the dectetive's slut wife fucked him in Savannah

they are identical twins with the same tatto, how is the husband sosure it is the sister?

Good in general but no ending

Hopefully he kicks her to curb

Sleazeball fucked both sisters

Only fair both husbands Fuck him up

Some of the comments make me wonder what story they read? They seem to have provided their own ending. I thought it was creative and original. Who needs the same old formula? Well done!

Really guys, this ending is confusing or incomplete?

Both sisters were fucking this guy!!! Come on... grab a brain.

They are both cheating slut wives.

Well constructed story, though the ending was pretty weak.

I liked the dispassionate view of the detective/husband, just like on the job.

We readers can finish the story in our minds, imagining him divorcing her or whatever. We don't need it to be spelled out for us.

Good one.

nice twist, nice story. thanks.

So...both Monique and Michelle had been cheating with Carlos?

I agree...great twist....I had to read back through to be sure :)

Monique was cheating with Marin Steinman, and not Michelle. The tat captured in the video was on the opposite cheek than the one that Michell has. Didn't know they were twins til the end of the story

A little confusing, but I think Michelle was just covering for her sister. You have to question her views on infidelity after this episode.

Monique was the cheater. But... no... or was it Michelle? Both? Ack!!!

Pretty good story. A little too much subterfuge for my likes.

If you’re going to mess things around at least stay in long enough for those of us on the outside to know what is really going down!! Its been said before FINISH THE DAMN STORY!!!

They shared everything. One came to Charleston to cheat, other went to Savannah to cheat. Hubbies needs an Hispanic girlfriend to clean up this mess

Only read this if you need help falling asleep

"How long?"

"Almost six months, I guess."

She had tears in her eyes now and I pushed over a photograph of an American Beauty tattoo on the right ass cheek of a very beautiful woman who was very close to me.

Michelle rose up and walked into the kitchen and reached up to get a bag of fruit snacks out of the cupboard. When she did her tee shirt rode up and exposed a firm, naked and very beautiful ass. On the left cheek of that beautiful ass was an American Beauty tattoo, identical to the one her identical twin, Monique had on her right cheek.

Monique was cheating, but these two sentences do open up an issue: "Monique and I have always done everything together since we were little girls. We never had any secrets from each other. If she did something I did it or the other way around.

Not trying to make a head to head comparison by any stretch of the imagination but Hitchcock didn't always give everything away either. Signed: BTW

Did the twins both cheat with Steinman (i.e. with or without his necessarily knowing)? Did author intend us to wonder about it? IDK, but it is a possibility that is entirely consistent with every single fact he gives us.

In any event, Steinman is likely going to jail. Monique's husband is about to find out that she has had three long term affairs. She may also have legal problems. For sure, she is likely to be questioned vey closely about what she knew about Steinman's plans. Michelle now knows that her hubby is very disturbed about her serious lack of moral character and has very good reason to doubt her fidelity. And Michelle, depending on how much time she spent with Steinman or how much she talked with her sister (and sister's knowledge) may have her own legal problems.

Excellent twist at the end. But is he right about his suspicions ......?

Story was pretty decent, but then you repeated the same shitty twist at the end that you've used previously. That only rates an average.

I'm sorry, but even after time to ponder and re-read this, I'm still unsure about whether the MC's wife did it also??? The ending was a tad opaque. I guess that I got all tangled up in the Noire...

I agree with Gram1. I’ve read it a couple of times, and I’m still not sure which sister did it. I’m more confused than ever.

I like your comments (they help me avoid willing cuck stories – thanks) so I owe you for that.

~

To set the record straight; we are almost 100% sure that Carlos Piña was shot by his wife, Castelda Portalla Piña. We can’t know with absolute certainty because she’s disappeared to Belize with her kids and quite a lot of money, but I think we can agree that all the evidence points to her shooting her husband and Lucy Steinman in the Steinman’s bedroom.

~

The next thing we know is that there is photographic evidence of Marin Steinman, the older husband of the now-deceased Lucy Steinman and who is equally an adulterer but who obviously has one rule for himself and another for his wife, having lunch with Castelda Piña several days before the murders, and during that lunch he handed her an envelope (probably money and keys to the Steinman house).

~

OK, so far it all points to a double murder by Castelda Piña with the financial help of Marin Steinman, but the real story is the discovery in the Steinman bedroom by Detective George Rogan of a yellow scarf reeking of a particular perfume. In fact, identical to a scarf and perfume he had bought for his wife, Michelle.

~

The cops then obtain the house high-definition security videos which show not only the murder taking place, but some earlier videos of a brunette woman and Marin Steinman fucking, at least twice, and she is NOT Marin’s wife. The author now ramps up the tension even more by having the detective recognise a tattoo on the brunettes right bum cheek, and we are led to believe that Michelle has been a naughty wife as well.

~

Like 26thNC, I also was convinced it was Michelle but then became confused when a twin sister was introduced. It was an earlier comment by HDK that explained that Michelle had her tattoo on her left bum cheek, while Monique (the twin sister) had hers on the right. Aha, mystery solved!

~

Well, not quite. ChilleyWilly (in another earlier comment) raised the point that the two instances of Marin fucking on video showed a mid-day game of hide-the-sausage (now you see it, now you don’t) where no tattoo could be seen, and a later session at night when Monique’s tattoo could be clearly identified. So, is it possible that both sisters have been taking turns fucking Marin, and the earlier session was with Michelle?

~

Good question, and the story does not help in this regard, but we can make some assumptions. We know that Monique has definitely been cheating with 3 affairs, and we know that Michelle admitted that she does everything that Monique does. The INFERENCE in the story is that Michelle’s detective husband, George, believes Michelle has been faithful but is very disappointed that she enabled Monique’s cheating, but questions remain in my mind. Is it too much of a coincidence that Michelle, Monique and Steinman were all in Savannah at the same time when only Monique (according to Michelle) was shacked up with Steinman at the hotel, and is it too much to believe that Michelle swapped clothes and boots with Monique, or gave her the yellow scarf in the earlier videos? Remember, it was the earlier video in the afternoon that the scarf was taken off and sniffed by Steinman, so we don't really know if it was Michelle or Monique (with Michelle's scarf). And how did Michelle’s first marriage end? Was it adultery on her part? If I were a 1st class detective like George then I’d be asking a lot of questions before I was satisfied. I wonder how the story may have ended if George told Monique’s husband that she was a cheating bitch, and in a fit of anger and revenge Monique blurted out that Michelle was just as bad. Could still happen.

~

Still a great little story, and better than “24 Hours”, but it leaves more questions than answers. Thanks, MFH, for a very thought-provoking story.

Did she?

Tattoo and shoes?

Damn, he's done it, again!

A short while ago, I read MFH's story 24 Hours, and left a comment expressing my dissatisfaction with his ending.

Now, he's gone and done the same thing, again!

MFH, you do realize, don't you, that at the end of a whodunit story, it is supposed to have been made pretty clear whodunit?

Again, 2 stars

two stories in a row leave an an opened ending not sure I like your wrritings try one more 1

I had to reread the story a couple times to confirm it was her sister having the affair. The story doesn't explain what she was doing in Savannah while her sister and Marin were fucking. Three-some? (Can't believe she just stayed by herself.) 5*

I guess the writer know all about the story, but me as a reader had some difficulty following. Especially toward the end.

FTDS.

For those wondering who was having the affair, it's pretty obvious:

"Monique and I have always done everything together since we were little girls. We never had any secrets from each other. If she did something I did it or the other way around. If I bought a new dress, she would. If she bought a new perfume I'd have to try it. That's why she got that Victor & Rolf you bought me a few months ago. That's how we've always been."

Decent story. A bit lacking in passion, but I get that's not really the point.

An odd story for this writer. Almost everything I’ve read by him has been very well written, very succinct. As others have said, this one was hard to follow and hard to understand at times. Oh well, not even The Babe hit it over the fence every time.

Thanks, I enjoyed this.

Anybody using "Ripple" as a quote get 5 stars from me.

you may think its amusing,but many readers do not.FINISH THE DAM STORY..

I think both sisters were having an affair although why is unclear since the guy Marin sounds to be older and not that talented in the sack. I guess the thrill of cheating. Seems dumb to cheat on a husband who is a detective. Was her second marriage anyways. Buy I guess they had to share in everything. Would have liked the author yo provide some closure.